TheListServe Blog

I thought I was done being a bastard. It had been weeks. Maybe a month or two. The last spectacular bastard flare-up coincided with my thesis at the UCLA directing program. My ego had been wounded by countless film festival rejections and the looming possibility that others might be right about my lack of genius and/or general specialness. I was terrified at the potential of returning to real life wielding only an MFA and a hundred grand in debt. Inspired by every art-as-life-cliché, I threw myself into a series of web videos which at the time seemed like the purest expression of my creative self. On-screen, there were Civil War re-enactments, self-help gurus and grainy, romantic Super 8 music videos. Behind the camera: fraudulent credit card applications, a string of bad behavior (mine) that lead to a sad and nasty breakup, and a google-analytics fueled vanity of pageviews, comments and press hits. In the end, the result was a series of very disposable webisodes. Now I was sitting...

I would like to talk to you about sounds, and about how we can collaborate on a short, simple project. Don't be afraid; let me explain.Every day, I record at least one sound from my environment. Today it was a hollow floor board that stuttered like a faulty trumpet, yesterday was a jackhammer on the sidewalk, and a couple of weeks ago: a howler monkey asserting his territory. My idea is to collect these sounds once a day for 10 years. As of this week, I will have successfully completed one and a half years. My intention is to sculpt the sounds into pieces of music. Sometimes I find the inherent shape of a recording and preserve it - for example, a squeaking ceiling fan might produce such an outrageously complex tone that I will map it to a keyboard and play it unaffected - while sometimes I might change the character of a sound into something completely unrecognizable. I have found that by forcing myself into this simple routine, my ears are more aware than they ever have been. Als...

We keep putting ourselves down. Over and over again. At times it makes sense. But it shouldn't. And even though I don't know you, I know how you've put yourself down. And how much you don't deserve it. Cheer up. It's easier said than done, I know. And there's nothing I can do to change it I can try endlessly. But it's only you. It won't ever be easy to pick yourself up. But you've got to do it. In the midst of stress and chaos. Stop. It's not all terrible. And soon enough, today will be the past. Breathe for a second. The rest can wait. Now repeat with me: I am okay I am okay I am okay... However many times it takes. Until you're convinced. You are okay, you've always been. Your phone is punishing you with so much silence when it is meant to aid your communication. And the people you love don't say much either. You keep putting yourself down. Stop. Time for yourself is never time wasted. You are okay. It's time to stop putting you...

In the moment, I am frustrated trying to print postage for my very first sale ☺ on eBay, of a 1919 1st edition of The Warlord of Mars by Edgar Rice Burroughs. Alas, PayPal has not kept up with Firefox, and Canada Post has delegated postage to PayPal instead of integrating their own online postage system ☹ So why 1st sale? I am moving. Having spent the last 2 years in a shared household, the guy on the lease is fed up with my occupation of the house. While everyone else keeps mostly to their rooms with occasional forays to the kitchen, I live in the living room(I’m retired), where I have my laptop, or the basement where I have set up a 3D projector. So my landlord wants me out in order to reoccupy the house before his parents come for an extended visit. I’ve preferred shared households since the 60’s when I lived on Alberni Street in Vancouver – up to 38 communards in a 3-bedroom house. We exported people to Galiano Island to make room. I eventually left to attend Ryerson in Photo Arts,...

Words get stuck in my head a lot. People will say something, or I'll read a quote, or hear a song and it will be there for the next few weeks, or months, or years. Many times, it is there, floating above the head of the person who said it in perpetuity. The words slice into my skin and stay there. Sometimes I write them on my arms and legs. I don't have any tattoos yet. I haven't found anything that I have wanted for long enough. I spent forever wrapping myself in paper and rope, hoping no one would see all the emotions in me, because they were all so ugly. Now my person tells me that "sometimes, you scare me with the way you act so easily." It's a nicer way to say that I'm a liar. A lifetime of self defense seeps into my words. I am sorry if that scares you. It scares me too. I like to write in my little blog, I can unhinge my jaw and tell the truth. That's my rule for when I write. I have to tell the truth. The stories have to be true. Once someone t...

Yo everyone! My name is Steve Gattuso and I’m a student at the snowy University of Rochester. I dislike the long emails just like the rest of you so I’m going to make a quick list of things that pop into my head: * Being nice is super important. I’m trying to get better about this. * Appreciate your parents if they’re still around. Mine are really awesome people and sometimes I don’t think I do this enough. * There’s someone out there named Krisi Hinova who is like the girl version of me, except she’s way better/cooler. Maybe three years of dating her has me biased, though. If you know of her *definitely* say hi to her. * Tip of the virtual hat to everyone in NYC. I love that city and can’t wait to join you all in the best place on the globe after I graduate college :). * hackNY changed my life. If you’re a student that likes programming, look it up. Cheers to all my fellow fellows: you are some of the most interesting people I’ve ever met. * Shoutout to Simon Weber for showing me the ...

A few lessons from political science: 1. Campaign contributions don’t buy congressional votes. Yes, there is a positive correlation between contributions and voting patterns, but think about it – if you’re directing the NRA’s Political Action Committee, are you more likely to donate to people you know support you already, or diehard supporters of gun control? Study after study shows that contributions don’t buy votes. 2. Spending millions of dollars on political campaigns is a good thing. Well, in some ways – costly campaigns deter some people from getting involved, but political advertising is not inherently evil. In fact, research shows that the more money is spent on campaigns, the more voters know about the candidates, issues, and the candidates’ position on issues. Believe it or not, advertisements can actually be informative, and voters actually show the ability to filter out incorrect or misleading information. 3. Citizens United, while it may have been a fla...

I’ve worked in the casino industry for over eleven years, with almost nine of them in Surveillance. In the past eleven years, I’ve lost a lot of hope in humanity. I’ve seen guests attempt to cheat the casino. I’ve seen employees steal from the company. Those are to be expected. Those people keep me employed. What really pisses me off, though, is someone stealing from someone else. The worst are when the victim comes back and asks the suspect if they’ve seen their lost item – whether it’s cash, a cell phone, or even a cane (yes, a cane!) – and the suspect flat-out lies to the victim. To stare someone in the face and deny knowing anything about their lost $100, knowing it’s burning a hole in your pocket (or, in most cases, being lost with every pull of the handle), has to be one of the worst things you could do to someone. What’s surprising is that these actions have no stereotypical look. I’ve watched homeless people do it, and I’ve watched players with thousands of dollars on the table...

People would try to talk to me and I was too preoccupied by my own thoughts to hear them. “Great. My face is getting red. Oh man...can they tell my face is getting red? I look so dumb...my face is bright red. What does this person think of me? And now it’s getting worse. Does what I’m saying even make sense? My face is more red now. Why does this happen so much? Now I just feel like a fool.” During conversations with people I knew well, my face would turn bright red before I even interacted with them. The mere thought of talking with another person made my skin boil. I went online. I read articles. I even thought about seeing a therapist at one point. I asked close friends. How was I going to fix this? I can’t live like this. It became worse the more I thought about it. I was pushed around and bullied in middle school. I had a friend who used to tell me to “shut up Matt. Nobody cares what you have to say” for no good reason at all, which is likely related. I was a small guy, so I was...

Dear List-servers, It's hard to believe that two years ago I spent most of my time in a grey cubicle working an unfulfilling corporate job. Now, I spend my time writing, engineering and producing electronic music under the name Hyperbits. If you're into that sort of thing, here are some thoughts about making the transition from life-sucking-cubicle-slave into full-time music producer and DJ. 1. Being an artist is all about creating a volume of work. For more on this, Google "The Gap by Ira Glass" and watch the 2-minute video by Daniel Frohlocke, it could change your life. 2. There is literally no man living that cannot do more than he thinks he can. So stay up late, drink some coffee, keep your head down and get to work. Do WHATEVER it takes to stay positive and stay inspired. Personally, I would take persistence over talent any day of the week. 3. Trust yourself and go with your gut. If you don't like your job or what you do everyday, just move on. It's ...

Passive aggressively, I'm often told that I'm a failure in society. This fall I'm turning 38, and I have no family of my own, I don't own a home, and since about a year I no longer own a car. According to society and its standards, and therefore large parts of my surroundings, these points indicate personal failure. I know my family and my friends love me, but the notion is always there. The judging. The whispers. The nodding. All this because this little word: own. This gets to me more than I want to admit, even though I have a good-paying job, I have a first hand contract on an apartment, and I had an awesome car. What gets me most are the standards we abide, that we’re supposed to want to have all those things. The fact that people are mindless sheep wanting all those things doesn’t bother me as much. Marriage: The accrediting from a board of people ruling a virtually defined area of land and/or a board of people wanting you to pay them for the idea of that a guy liv...

Hi! I'm a lady who just bought my first motorcycle. I'm a writer by trade so books were always my first passion; needless to say going really really fast was never in the forefront of my mind. Luckily, I got my heart broken by a guy who rides. When we broke up, I missed him—but I missed his bike more. Writing was always my gateway to freedom, but after getting on a bike, I quickly realized the mind cannot be truly free if the body isn't granted that same freedom. Yes, motorbikes are great breakup cures—I can channel all that churning gut anger and lingering nostalgia into my own sweaty road trips through the desert—but my bike has done so much more for me. It introduced me to a community of intrepid, selfless people I never would have met otherwise. It led me to steel and rust and grease and oil, winding roads that twist into mountain valleys, tucked-away dive bars, the smell of the pavement, and dreams I never could have conjured without the agency this simple, two-wheeled...

Hello, I am Liwee from Sunny Singapore. Just wanna share two of my favourite quotes at the moment. Hopefully they will make you feel better like how they have done for me all these while. :) "If you have good thoughts, they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely." As I grow older and enter the workforce, it seems like people around me are just getting so mean and would anything just to achieve what they want. But yes, staying positive and being kind even to those who hurt us will make us all look lovely. "Eventually all pieces fall into place. Until then, laugh at the confusion, live for the moment, and know that everything happens for a reason." Growing up can be confusing and depressing at times. I am currently at this stage of my life where I feel so lost about my future, especially after facing so many obstacles within half a year into my first proper job. So yup, I'm gonna try to gain as much experience as I can instead of...

My name is Peter and I am from Slovakia. There are few things to share with so many people I do not know :) Germany - It was my dream to work abroad. Few months after graduating I got chance to get a job in Germany as a project manager/SEO specialist. The problem was, I had to leave my friends and family in just 2 weeks, what appeared to me as the hardest thing. The challenge was really big: getting used to new people, new language, new culture and becoming profi in areas I hadnt had relevant experiences before. After two and half months I was fired. I was thinking a lot about this experience and got following conclusion: 1. "I do not regret the things I've done, but those I did not do." (Rory Cochrane) - Sometimes we are stucked in deciding whether to do something or not. In my opinion it is worthwhile to give a try. Staying in Germany gave me life lecture I would not get otherwise in 10 years. 2. Give 100% to anything. Nobody is perfect. It is not fair to blame yours...

I knew what I would say to the group if I ever won. I knew from the very day I signed up for the Listserve. It was not the reason that I signed up but nevertheless I knew and will get to that reason in the third paragraph. Please keep reading to that point but first a suggestion for the administrators of the Listserve. I would like to see an archive site. Maybe by month and year. A site that will provide a link to reread the emails from the winners on a certain date. It would also be nice to have a rating system and comments thread for the people on the Listserve to be able to continue with or start some conversations. I have kept several of the emails that I enjoyed and conversed with a few people along the way. Special mentions to: Fred, Manuel Loureiro, Leah R, M Willis, Charles Austin, Jason Rosenbaum, Jennifer Cox, Adam, Ariel A, Yakira Levy, Lief Bloomquist, John Huber, Chris Powell, Alyissa and Anthony Albright. I have kept your emails and enjoy them for varied reas...

At 25 years old, I find myself in the live music capital of the world, working for the best company in the world. Yes, Austin has more live music venues per capita than anywhere else on the planet and Fortune Magazine calls Google the best company to work for, year after year. At 25 years old, I have lived and visited some of the most beautiful places in the world, including Boulder, San Francisco, Seattle, Bolivia, Haiti, France, Senegal, United Arab Emirates and India and established the most fruitful friendships I could ever imagine. At 25 years old, I've been in love exactly three times and find myself single for the first time in eight years and in my adult life. In retrospect, it amazes me to have discovered three drastically different people who I can love equally and will always love in some capacity the rest of my life. Love hurts, but it hurts so good. At 25 years old, I have never felt so humbled as I do in this moment, with the opportunity to share a few words with a ...

I'm listening ''Is it my body?'' by Alice Cooper while writing this, you all will notice how unstable this letter is, also, I tend to start talking about something but end up with a different thing, also y'all can call me Miitcher, that's how most of my friends call me, back to Alice, I will meet him on my birthday (08/29)! strangely, there's a bittersweet feeling inside that makes me think ''wow, I'm very old''. It's like having a midlife crisis at my 20's, did any of you been thru that feeling? Is it suffering the reason our hearts grow old? Let that sink in. Short story: last year I met Steven Tyler and I was so nervous that started to dry crying after I talked him, what? you don't know what ''dry crying'' is? That is when you're so overwhelmed that you can't even deal with your own self, literally I found myself crying ''outside in''. Then again, Je ne sais pas where I'm head...

I think that I, like the most of you, wonder when or whether we are going to be chosen to write here. But now that I have been chosen, it's hard to come up with a subject. So I'll start introducing myself. Hi! My name is Thais, I'm 18 years old and I live in one of the biggest cities in the world, Sao Paulo - Brazil. I've just been back from an exchange program; I spent a whole year in Australia thanks to an organization called Rotary International. And that is what I was going to talk about: Travel and why you should travel (more). But I must confess that I was starting to get bored myself. So, instead, I want to recommend you a method that can help you grow (whether professionally, socially or personally). Now that I’m 18, I’m becoming responsible for more and more things, so I must apply more discipline into my life. This method was suggested by an important bank president from Wall Street, New York. He said: “I keep an agenda where I write down all the appointment...

My motivations for joining the Listserve were part of my drive to communicate more with 'the world' and coincided with starting a blog (Science on the Spectrum) were I aim to discuss my scientific career aspirations through the lens of autistic spectrum disorder (ASD). I was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome in 2012, a 'higher functioning' form of autism. This affects how a person makes sense of the world, processes information and relates to other people but because I am intelligent and outwardly appear capable, these disabilities are largely hidden. I have difficulty with the subtleties in verbal communication, such as understanding facial expressions and voice tone and knowing what people are thinking, explaining the problems I have experienced in interacting with others throughout my life. It is not all disadvantageous though, my condition is also associated with obsessive interests, a high attention to detail and love of pattern recognition which are valuable attrib...

Hi, I'm Greg, and I'm 30 living in Colorado, working part time at a ski resort. It's a great life and a good job.But my real job, my real passion is mining exploration. When they asked me what I wanted to be as a kid, I never had an answer, I guess it was because I never knew that what I would come to do was an option. So what is the mining law 1876? It's easiest to explain with a question. If you're out on public land in the western USA, and you stumble upon a billion dollar gold vein, who owns that? The answer is the first person to stake a claim and pay your claim fees to the local county and federal government. Claims can be a max of about 20 acres, and the fees for them are only a few hundred dollars a piece. Now growing up in Chicago, I never had a single idea this was a thing. It was only when I moved to Nevada that it was introduced to me. I was actually in the process of developing land for a music festival when the mineral rights under my feet sold for mi...

Ideas – for free! I don't have the time to develop these, but maybe you do. I have a running list of 100+ startup ideas that are locked and loaded, but I’ll never be able to execute all of them, so I decided to use this opportunity to share some of my favorites that I won’t pursue with you. Maybe you feel inspired and start working on one of them. If you do so, please let me know. I’m happy to support and would love to know how they’re going. 1. Device: Ever ran out of battery and didn’t have a charger in reach? What if friends could connect their phone to yours and give you some of their precious battery life to keep it going? Think of this as a device small enough to hang from a keychain. A small adapter that allows you to connect one device to the other and donate power. Is there a better way to connect? 2. App: Wouldn’t it be cool if you could share a playlist with friends that everyone can contribute to real-time? Basically an app that allows everyone in reach to add songs. Al...

Hey everyone! I was shocked when I got the "you won" email. With over 25,000 of us, I never really thought I'd be chosen. Some things I think everyone should know/do in life: 1) Do theater! I can't stress this enough. I started doing musical theater late (in my early 20s), and it also happened to be one of the worst times in my life. I had just lost a younger brother during my first show. I got into theater because of my love of music and singing. I wasn't a very confident person during those years, but my voice teacher insisted I audition for a show. So I did, and was cast in "West Side Story" and it literally changed my life. I became more confident in myself, I got out of my depression, and I met some of the most amazing people i'd ever meet. I met most of my lifelong friends in theater. There was something uplifting about being around so many people that have the same love and passion for the arts as I did. Theater was my therapy. I performed for...

And now i'm oscillating between just rickrolling/bellair-ing everyone and giving some insipid advice like 'be kind.' Like: "this is a story all about how Kurt Vonnegut is never gonna give you up?" or something. Oh, right! Advice! Hmm...Read more Borges? And definitely take yourself less seriously. Well except for those things that are super important, you should totally be serious about those things. Eat more or less kale, depending on your preferences. Always devote yourself to worthy pursuits. Like oh hey Bill (who I know is reading this), remember that time you spent like 10 hours trying to get a video game corpse into a video game glass case? Good times. Oof. This basically turned into a somehow less intelligible Eddie Izzard-style list of left-behind commandments (e.g. "never put jam on a magnet"). Sorry everyone. Good news though, super earnest replies will most likely be back tomorrow! Alex B Boston, MA, USA

Every time I write, I know that what I’m trying to say will never get across in the way that I want it to. I’m out of practice, I can never find the words I need and I’m a really terrible speller. But actually, writing this email, I have no idea what I’m going to say. So consider this an experiment. I am a college senior pursuing a degree in graphic design and marketing. And I have a lot of questions. I guess that’s appropriate, since one of the largest events of my short life is approaching much too quickly. That being said, I feel that I am in no position to give anybody any sort of advice and honestly I feel like any wisdom I may have had has been drowned out by many recent nights (and some days) of beer and tequila running seamlessly into working on my design thesis until sunrise. But hey, it’s only in college that I can get away with posting a video of myself chugging a beer with pickle juice on the Internet, right? If there is anything that I feel I need to take this opportunity ...

...I got picked. A greeting: Hello, people of the earth! Or 25k of you at least... An introduction: My name is Arshi and I'm seventeen years old. I have a cat called Boki, longer hair than you'd expect, and an account on a writing website where my story has 12,000+ reads. I am currently a junior in high school and I study English Language and Literature, Geography, Business Studies and Psychology. I want to major in Business and minor in Film Studies. A book: Bliss by Lauren Myracle A song: Pompeii by Bastille A movie: Waitress (2007) A TV show: Supernatural A place: Marine Drive, Mumbai, India A tip: If you're not confident, or if you feel like you need to do something but don't feel brave enough, try the 3 2 1 method. What you do is you count down from 3, and when you get to 1, you just do it. Even if it looks more like a weird outburst than anything, you just go. Because that way, you won't have time to overthink and over-analyze the situation, which always make...

Hi! I've read most of the things that listserve sent to me. Enjoyed it a bunch. Never thought I would be picked to say things to all of you. So what things should I say? I am what most would consider an old woman. Technology only got really started in my early twenties. I love technology and hope to live long enough to enjoy some of the new things that I know will be here. A few days ago I discovered a web site that made gif files look 3D. Got to say I am impressed. A small thing but interesting. The internet is ....... for me........... a wonderful place to learn new things. A great place to see photos of places I will never go. So many minds serving up so much. Things my generation would have never thought of. I just love it. There is one part though that I would like to see more of. It would be something that would help old people like me meet other old people. No, not a dating site. I don't know what kind of site it could be but something that would help people...

SUMMARY An enthusiastic, creative leader seeks opportunities to plan and execute pranks, scandals, and mischief in the name of freedom and the spirit of community. EXPERIENCE Forgery, 1st grade Replicated mother's signature to confirm that she understands a homework assignment was not completed. - Teacher didn't glance twice at masterful forgery - Mother was spared paperwork and disappointment over the missing assignment [NOTE: timeline discontinuity caused by skipping the 2nd grade] Buttered Chalkboard, 3rd grade Coordinated with six classmates to bring sticks of butter to school on prank day. Before the first bell, teammates slathered butter onto the chalkboard seamlessly. - Teacher didn't notice any butter residue, attempted to write on the board as usual - The board was completely chalk-proof, and curriculum eased for the day - Best friend was sent home with a note inquiring whether there was excess butter at home; best friend's mother confirmed that there was, ind...

I never thought I'd "win," but here I am! Hello everybody! I was wondering what to say to 25,000 strangers, but I think I'll just talk about "How to be an Adult." I know, I'm only 25 (nearly 26), but I have experienced quite a bit of life (including the past 3 years working in South Korea). Today, let's talk about how to walk the fine line between being your own person versus being under your parents. I won't go into details, but my newly divorced parents are going through a rough time in light of a staggering revelation. I love my parents equally, but it's really hard to take when they are both throwing out terrible thoughts and untrue assumptions about the other. It is worsened by the fact that they both seem to come to me about it, when I am not under their care or protection anymore. So how does one manage this difficult balance? 3 ways: 1.) By listening. I just listen, and listen respectfully. There are things that they may need to say, ...

In college, I ran Cross-Country and Track in Atlanta. While I’m sure I don’t have to elaborate on why, the bond you gain with your teammates is an inseparable one. Between the 6:00am Tuesday work-outs, the informal late-night naked running events, and the “drag-out” on Sunday long runs when we’d rehash our Saturday night escapades, there’s a lot of bonding that goes on in the sweaty mix. After college it becomes increasingly difficult to see each other as often as you once had, and it becomes more and more difficult to maintain the same closeness as you all enter the next phase of your life. It’s all too easy to fall out of touch and grow apart. For me, the majority of my closest friends from my team live in New York City. It shouldn’t be that surprising (because NYC is the shit and who wouldn’t want to live in this city?) but it is something that I took for granted for a while. Of course, we’d get together some Saturdays at someone’s apartment for a pre-game and then go out to so...