TheListServe Blog

It’s generally accepted that it’s a good thing to be respectful. But what does being respectful mean? I think there’s an idea that to be respectful means to always be nice to others—but I find that idea misguided. It’s important to assume a default attitude of niceness. Generally speaking, the world is a better place if you be nice to others. But sometimes a person is no longer worthy of your respect. Oftentimes, this happens because this person has done something or said something which has hurt someone you respect even more. At times like these, dropping the "be nice to others" strategy is perfectly acceptable—you should stand up for that person who still holds your respect, in the face of the one who has lost it. In short: Be nice to other people as you come across them, but be loyal to those who have earned your respect. *** The high school system I’m going through requires a certain number of volunteer hours to be completed before graduation. The most common way to earn ...

The following is an excerpt from the list of Every Bad B*tch I Have Ever Known: "[1] There isn't a name that describes the magnificent, terrific creature that is my Grannie. She raised three kids almost entirely by herself, and then raised my Gramps' children, and a couple decades later her children's children. To support herself and her people she welded, worked for RCA, sold real estate, owned a nail salon, a liquor store and a laundromat. In the meantime, she taught me all the skills I would need to survive in prison: to spend days reading, play poker and be happy with my own company. She hasn't had a bad hair day since I was born, and has broken a single nail in two decades. The love she has for her family is only equaled by the murderous rage she has waiting for anyone that tries to hurt them; it is at both times the scariest and most enabling trait I have inherited from her. [2] Judy is a native Texan who moved to DC to work for an organization protesting the...

Hi Everyone! I’m 20 years old and currently a third year student at the University of Waterloo. I absolutely love my University because of the great opportunities it leads me to. By the time I graduate in 2016, I’ll have approximately a year and half of working experience all thanks to the co-op program. Although my university years have played a key role in shaping my identity, and I could go on about that for a while, I want to share something with you that truly makes me who I am today. Today, I want to share a little story about two special heroes in my life: my mom and dad. About 12 years ago, my parents decided to move to Canada from Kuwait for the sole purpose of their kids’ education. Coming to Canada, at the age of eight, I couldn’t ever comprehend what this would mean for our family. My dad decided to stay back for a while as he had been doing really well in his career back in Kuwait. My mom took care of us, helped us with our homework and ran the household here. Their time ...

I knew something was wrong last summer when I woke up at 3 am, and she was staring out of the window. She told me that a work buddy was picking her up. Her cadence was clipped and she couldn't explain why she needed to leave. I looked at her phone when she went to the bathroom to discover that said friend was out of town. Alexis was hallucinating. The next day she didn't meet me like she said she would. She called me 4 hours later and struggled to figure out where she was and how to get home. Once we got to the ER, she was admitted and given a diagnosis. My wife had bipolar disorder. When we talk the months following her hospitalization, I realize we had completely different experiences. What she went through at that time sounds hellish, and I'm not sure I'd be able to endure it. However, there's a unique and surreal kind of horror endured by a person trying to help some one through a manic episode. That's what I'm here to talk about. Alexis was released fro...

He circled the corner and was transported. She towered in front of the canvas, and it was hard to tell where Modigliani's brushstrokes stopped and where she began. Liquid leather leggings painted her skin in the same black as the 5:15 November twilight absorbing into the Victorian buildings across 54th street. She had the hair of a crow, casually wrapped around a sock like a cinnamon roll, framing the v of her nose and the pine of her eyes. He had been here before; the same excruciating scene played out more frequently than he cared to admit. Him, standing there like a damn fool, feeling his feet form an ionic bond with the hardwood floor while he convinced himself she was no good. Sure, she could be different. Yes, maybe he had matured. Of course, true love is searching too, waiting for him to step into the light. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. The faint Daisy smells of Jasmine petals and musk sucker-punched him allowing only a second more of consciousness to notice her small sca...

This mail is only to remember my favorite people and things: My wife Mary My son Samu My mum. my dad and my sister My team F.C.Internazionale My singer J-AX Have a good day ! Massy maxsex79[AT]gmail.com Torre de' Busi - Italy

Hi! First of all, what a day! It’s the first time in my life I actually won something! Feels great. Secondly; a brief introduction. My name is Raoul, 26 y/o. Just finished doing the dishes. Living in Holland. Earning (some) money as a graphic designer. Like a lot of people on earth I enjoy music, art, tasty food & beer, our sun and spending time with my friends/loved ones. What I really love is combining everything together by visiting (electronic) music festivals. Nothing beats dancing in the sun together with my friends & strangers. You should definitely visit one of the many outdoor festivals in the Netherlands during summer, the vibe is always great. Try visiting a small festival: better atmosphere, better music, smiles everywhere, less commercial crap. I will name some DJ’s, bands & other stuff I like below. It’s a bit of everything but worth checking out. Moving on to probably my biggest passion, graphic design. I love making prints, shapes, layouts, typography, drawi...

Ever wonder why that blue on your monitor prints darker on your printer? Here’s the basic why …. The two typical color systems are RGB and CMYK (you’ve heard these used a lot). RGB (red, green, and blue) is the type of color system used for light; it is an ADDITIVE system, so when you add them all together, you get WHITE. CMYK (cyan, magenta, yellow, and black) is the type of color system used for basic printing; it is a SUBTRACTIVE color system, so the absence of color gives you WHITE (or paper, in this case). The use of high percentages of CMYK is called “rich black” (its a deeper black than just using 100% K. And yes, black is “K” -- not to be confused with blue, which is “B”). The reason your print doesn’t look like your screen is because you can’t produce all the same colors from CMYK that you can from RGB. In the spectrum of color you can see, RGB gives you the most options, then the Pantone system (we’ll discuss this in a minute), and then the most limiting, CMYK. You’ll notice ...

After having read every Listserve email for almost two years, I thought that my turn would come sometime later in life - perhaps when I’m more settled? That’s what everyone else made me believe at least. But damn, while I’m more than happy with almost everything in life, my professional life is a big question mark! I don’t really have any advice or anything for you all so I guess I’ll just narrate a little bit of me. I’m a 22 year old girl born and raised in New Delhi (it’s almost 46°C these days, damn summers!) - capital city of India and I’m one of those people who always knew what they wanted to do in life. So my University major was Japanese - and even though I was just fascinated by things like origami back in high school that led me to this, Japanese made me fall in love with languages. So I tried learning French and gave up mid way only to realise that my fascination was more towards languages that don’t use the Roman script. Next I took up Korean and man, don’t I love it! I wan...

In the past 30 days: - Most my grandmother to old age - Moved 4 times (I got really good at stuffing things cars) - Got a new job in a new city In the past 7 days: - Moved to my (hopefully) final residency for the duration of this summer - Jumped through numerous hoops to get a place to park my car (it's a pain) - Jumped through some more hoops to get an ID that I need for my current living situation Yesterday (Father's Day): - Broke up with my girlfriend - Had my wallet and watch stolen from my room where I'm currently living Today (Day after Father's Day): - Spent the morning cancelling cards and trying to get replacements for the things that were in my wallet - Got an email saying I won the listserve But now I'm just sitting in my room, eating pizza, and writing about the recent events of my life. Feel free to email me with any questions, comments, or random tidbits of information. Michael Solomon michael.listserv...

A Dedication: A few weeks ago I received an email that one of my colleagues, Malual Chuol Khor, known as “Moses” was killed. Moses was a community health worker who got shot while assessing children’s nutrition and hunger needs in Akobo East, South Sudan. I never had the opportunity to meet Moses but consider him a colleague. Most of us on the Listserve will probably never know someone so brave, inspiring, and selfless. He deserves special recognition for his efforts to help children in some of the toughest places on earth.  A Suggestion: Subscribe to The Skimm. Just heard about this recently… It’s an email newsletter sent each the morning – rich in content but short enough to read on the quickest of train rides. Written with some wit, it’s also non-partisan and has occasional pop culture references. There’s a lot going on in the world – think of this as the top 10 most important tweets in your twitter newsfeed. A Request: I created 30 x 30 bucket list, and in 110 days I turn 30 years ...

I’d spent the early part of the afternoon at an internet cafe across the cul-de-sac from my hotel, mostly reading news and sending a couple of emails in the name of dodging the midday heat. Leaving in the late afternoon, a roaming street vendor approached me about 50m from La Brazzerade, the hotel I was staying at while in Dakar, Senegal. The street was still busy; plenty of the stalls were still selling things to tourists, and there was lots of human traffic about. This roaming vendor had a basket of things taking up both of his hands, like a washing basket would. He starts yapping away at me rapidly in French. When I finally got a moment, I said I couldn't understand him. He switched to broken, searching English. On top of this basket was a foam board with holes punched through it. In the holes pairs of sunglasses sat propped up. Some were a little scratched, most just looked like knock offs. "Want sunglasses?" I pointed to my forehead where a pair of sunnies were perch...

Outlandish theories of mine that I don’t necessarily believe: - Maybe when we sleep, our changed brain wave patterns allow us to sense some of the other timelines in the multiverse, which inform our dreams. - Perhaps a strong emotional event causes brain waves to imprint onto wood at a quantum level like a hard drive writes to magnetic material. People who are sensitive to it could get a feeling of what happened. So ghosts are like, not interactive. - Regarding the Fermi Paradox: What if our concept of space-time is way off—just an illusion in the state of matter we call consciousness. So we’re out there, somewhere, waiting for us to contact us... Nah. ________________________________ For posterity: In 1994, at the age of 17, I left my home in New York and went on a backpacking trip across Europe with my best friend. We had no debit cards, no smart phones with Google Maps—no cell phones at all. We had travelers checks you could only cash during regular business hours, and before the Eu...

Hey friends. I'm Peter, a 21 y/o college student studying biology and psychology with (i think) far too much job experience lifeguarding for someone my age. I got this email after a long-as-hell finals week closing out a longer-as-hell school year (just finished my third year of college) and was about to head home for a weekend with my family. I had two siblings' graduation party to attend (brilliant grads of the 8th and 12th grades), father's day festivities to partake in, and a brother from out of state in town to visit with. What with all the fun and familial silliness (familliness?) I had going on I very nearly didn't find the time to send all of you my little note. So I guess with the caveat that I have not lived that long/accrued much "wisdom" or whatever, I'll just share my feelings after this family weekend as well as a bit of advice. I'm super thankful for all the families I've belonged to, including but not limited to my family-family, my...

Hi there! I find it an honour to have been chosen by Listserve. I live in Cape Town in sunny South Africa,with my husband,cat+toy-pom. My son passed away from Heriditary colon cancer (familiar polyposis)3yrs ago,aged 24yrs + I still find it hard to accept he is gone + my daughter I'd 29yrs old + she has to have a Colonoscopy every 2yrs until she is 45 to see if she developes Colon Cancer too. Its been hard but God gives us strength if we believe in him. If anyone has had a similar experience or just to chat about Life ..... God Bless, Carolynn Dyer Carolsgardenbugs[AT]gmail.com

Tl;dr: I’m striving to live more authentically. Email me! =) Oh how I wish that wasn’t such a cliché. There are so many things I wanted to share with you, but this topic is really a message to myself. Being honest with others is important, but being honest with yourself has to come first and is probably harder. Admitting when I’m wrong, my bad habits like procrastination, or that I’ve been making excuses is uncomfortable, but it’s ok to experience discomfort. Confronting my true feelings on others, how I want to spend my time, or what my big dreams are without disclaimers, is more than a worthy goal. It’s key to living “true to myself”. Probably the hardest thing I’ve had to admit to myself that I grew up with an alcoholic. Although I dealt with the repercussions of that every day, it was a long, slow process to accept as truth. It’s still hard to talk about, but now that I can, it frees me to ask myself how I really feel about it and address the consequences. One consequence was that ...

Helllooooo, Trav here. I’m 27 and live in the San Francisco Bay Area (though my home is Vermont, shout out to my homies). One of my favorite things to do is getting lost in the depths of Wikipedia. What follows is a small subset of my list of favorite articles in the following format: “interesting quote” --------article [my comments] --------List of cognitive biases [makes me wish I had studied psychology] --------List of common misconceptions “Fagan entered the palace through an unlocked window on the roof and spent the next half hour eating cheddar cheese and crackers and wandering around. He tripped several alarms, but they were faulty. He viewed the royal portraits and rested on the throne for a while. He then entered the postroom, where Diana, Princess of Wales had hidden presents for her first son, William. Fagan drank half a bottle of white wine before becoming tired and leaving.” --------Michael Fagan Incident “more people commute by bicycle in greater Copenhagen than cycle t...

Greetings to everyone on the listserve. I'm Matthias, a 23 year old student, and amongst other things, I study computer science, philosophy and psychology. I'm not writing some long detailed story, I just want to give good "food for thought" to everyone of you. 1) Developing skills and competence that suit your character, and utilizing them is a crucial life task. Don't do something you need to do - become really good at something you want to do instead. I know it's an old saying, but motivation really is the key. 2) "Someone who walks slow, still goes faster than somebody standing still". Actually starting something, even if it's slow, is better than not starting it at all. Also, progress requires goals, and growth - otherwise you might stop walking. 3) Infinity isn't just "large" - it's not a static entity, like a huge number. It's just used to describe the lack of any boundaries. Also see "Infinite monkey theorem...

I didn’t fall in love with my son immediately. Apparently, it often takes a bit longer for the Dad. It did for me – about 4 months, when he was starting to show some understanding of the fact that it was his Dad who was around. Since then, what I struggle to understand is why having a child doesn’t seem to bring everyone closer to their own parents. I can’t understand how people don’t consider the inexplicable, natural love they feel for their child/children and relate it to how their own parents feel about them. Go to a website called 'See Your Folks'. And wherever your parents are, make sure you see them, talk to them, cherish them and allow them to cherish you more often while they’re still here. Cam camlistserve[AT]gmail.com Canberra, Australia

I can't think of any particularly interesting stories to tell, and I don't have any pithy life advice, so instead I'll give you some music. I'm sticking to just five pieces, because I'm afraid that if I list more you’ll all just see a long list and ignore it... Some of these are classical choral pieces and some are modern songs. All of them are among the most beautiful things I've ever heard, and they all make me feel things that seem meaningful and important and worth feeling. Maybe they'll do the same for you. Ave verum corpus — William Byrd Viðrar vel til loftárása — Sigur Rós Angeles — Elliott Smith Os justi — Anton Bruckner Sanvean — Dead Can Dance Happy listening! Asa Goodwillie asa.goodwillie[AT]yahoo.com Boston, Massachusetts

Everything changes and nothing stands still – Heraclitus Most people fear change, yet change is the only constant. In learning to embrace change and what it means, you open yourself up to interesting possibilities in your life. Be out there. Push the envelope. Dare to be different. Have passion for what you do. Take that risk. The Question Hootenanny Ask a question, get an answer. When you ask great questions, you often get great answers. When you ask questions no one has asked before you may well get new answers no one has thought of before. Try it. Often. Get Shit Done Stop thinking about it. Stop talking about it. Stop dreaming about it. Take a few meaningful steps everyday to bring your vision into reality. Concrete action. Deliverables. Milestones. Screw procrastination, make things happen and get shit done. Start today. Start now. Better the World Do something with your life that helps make the world a better place. Why not? The more you make the world a bette...

Unlike a lot of these Listserve emails we get, I have nothing really of use to share with you. There is no uplifting message and no important lesson that can help you have a better life. I am 41 years old and for the last eight years I have been happy with my life. What about the previous 33 years, you may ask? Well, they were okay, but I had no idea what I wanted to do. I had pretty much drifted through life without any goals, or at least, none that had stuck. But for the last eight years I have been working at my dream job and I simply stumbled into it. You see, I love cars. Ever since I can remember I have been fascinated with them, probably before I can remember as well. For the past eight years I have had a job where car manufacturers give me brand new cars to drive for a week so I can write about them. They fly me all over the world to exotic locations, put me up in five-star accommodation, feed me the finest cuisine and ply me with the best booze. I am one of the luckiest bastar...

Hello, world. I'm a Computer Science PhD student studying Artificial Intelligence, which suddenly seems cooler when I write it down [1]. Today, I'd like to talk about intelligence, brains [2], learning, and solving problems. It's the kind of stuff that keeps me up at night, and amazingly enough, it also manages to pay my rent. I discovered Computer Science in an Intro to Java course my freshman year of college. Programming hooked me with its instant feedback loop: write some code, and now I'm playing chess against myself. Write some more, and now the computer is playing against me. Write more, and now the computer is winning, despite the fact that I taught it (quite literally) everything it knows! It's a rush that I still don't know how to accurately describe. It's the kind of creation that drives artists, inventors, and scientists to work long hours for low pay and poor recognition, and once I tasted it I couldn't stop. During college, I channeled this ...

To say that this is the last thing I would expect this exact week is a huge understatement. I turned 23 a few weeks ago; graduated college a little over a year ago; started my first full time job about ten months ago; and lost one of my biggest fans just a few days ago. Cue the tears...or the smiles of remembrance (actually, the smiles- my dad lit up the room and made people smile wherever he went). My dad developed Alzheimer's disease several years ago and from the day he was diagnosed up until last Friday my mother, sister and I took care of him. Thanks to a system of relentless unity, collaboration, and love, we made it through. Thanks to our friends and family we're going to make it through this, as everyone else who loses a loved one does. The past few days of phone calls, visits, and ad hoc trips across the country, have taught me the extent to which people can love and care. And with that I'll say it- thanks. To those of you who subscribe and are reading, for doing ...

"And my dreams are strange dreams, are day dreams, are grey dreams, And my dreams are wild dreams, and old dreams and new; They haunt me and daunt me with fears of the morrow – My brothers they doubt me – but my dreams come true. " -from The Wander-Light Henry Lawson Tomorrow is a human a thing. For other minds there is only now. But not for us. We sleep and wake and live our lives by tides and shapes of nights and days and nights. Tomorrow is our dance; the steps of our rhythms with legs astride. Because it's pain that teaches best, we fear the morrow. And so we should. Yet tomorrow is the promise of a better thing. I live now. Fears of the morrow mine are now. But my dreams too come true. My dreams too come true. Max Goff max.goff[AT]gmail.com Saratoga Springs, UT USA

I had a hysterectomy when I was 19. In writing that sentence my knee-jerk reaction was to prefix it with “I was FORCED” to have a hysterectomy at 19 – but that simply isn’t true – in fact, I had to fight for it, which was (and undeniably still is) the most difficult thing about the whole experience I didn’t have cancer, and while I did suffer from serious health problems none of them were life threatening. But after 7 years of debilitating gynaecological problems, over 30 surgeries, chronic-pain, and the onset of a secondary condition that rendered me unable to take any hormonal medication, I had run out of options. The process of obtaining a hysterectomy for a young woman in Australia is a horrible endeavour, one that forces the patient to acknowledge responsibility at every juncture. I understand the legalities behind the loopholes I was forced to jump through, but to this day it remains the most traumatising part of the whole experience. Permanently losing my ability to bear a child...

I recently visited West Papua and was very surprised how different it is from the rest of Indonesia, Journalists are banned from entering the region so the outside world rarely hears about what happens.West Papua was colonised by the Netherlands in 1898, along with the islands that now make up Indonesia. When the Republic of Indonesia became an independent nation state in 1949, West Papua remained under Dutch control. The Dutch government began preparing West Papua for its own independence throughout the 1950s. At the end of 1961, West Papua held a Congress at which its people declared independence, and raised their new flag – the Morning Star. But within months the dream was dead. The Indonesian military invaded West Papua and conflict broke out between the Netherlands, Indonesia and the indigenous population regarding control of the territory. The US intervened and engineered an agreement between Indonesia and the Netherlands, which in 1962 gave control of West Papua to the United Na...

Sonder n. The realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own - populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries, and inherited craziness - and epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk I found this on Reddit one day and it just made me think about how insignificant my life must be compared to the other 7 billion people on this planet. I've always thought of having so many problems, so much troubling me. But when you look at it from a wider perspective, billions of other people are having the same problems that you might have. Everyone shares their problems with everyone else, even though we might not meet each other in our entire lifetime. L...

My husband and I have been together for 12 years, we met in college, dated for 6 years and got married 6 years ago. I often forget just how much we've been through during that time (good and bad): the ups and downs of college, family deaths, graduation, grad school, first jobs, not knowing how we'll pay the bills, buying a first home, andŠbabies (!). And even when I sit here and write this, I know there are countless things I'm forgetting. He's my person (anyone watch Grey's Anatamoy?). I can always count on him. He knows me best. Basically, he's my rock. But, at the end of the day I love him the most because he makes me laugh. Not just giggle or chuckle. I'm talking the deepest, most uncontrollable, eye watering belly laugh that you can possibly imagine. There's nothing better. So, my message is this: If you're with someone and you're not having fun in your relationship, it's not worth it. Your "person" should be able to bring out ...

My parents are pretty extraordinary people. In the late '80s, My dad came to the U.S. from Nigeria with less than $100 in his pocket to study veterinary medicine at the University of Auburn. My mom followed a few years later to study pharmacy, and then they popped out my older brother. I still don't understand how two foreign grad students were able to raise my two brothers and me on an American college campus. But they did it somehow. And mind you, there were no grandparents to send the kids to stay with. And then if life weren't already hard enough, my mom encouraged my dad to go back to med school in his 30s: "You've always wanted to be a real doctor. Be a man, and go be a real doctor." (My mom's words, not mine). So he did at age 36, with an 8-year old, a 5-year old (me), and a 2-year old at home. Still, they both did a pretty solid job raising us, especially my mom. And I know I wasn't an easy child - wetting the bed 'til I was in high school,...

I wasn't sure I'd be okay if I left him. We shared everything that mattered for more than four years: a home, friends, finances, cats. Deep down, I couldn't imagine building that much familiarity and rapport with someone else. I had somewhere to go, and I wouldn't starve, but that was it; leaving would mean starting my adult life over from scratch. (I told him I loved him, and I walked away.) I wasn't sure it was a good idea to go back to college. After dropping out of high school, I'd taken a few scattered classes, but mostly got bored and abandoned them. If I actually pursued a degree, there would be serious money on the line. Fucking this up would have consequences for the rest of my life. (I borrowed enough to buy books before financial aid came in.) I wasn't sure it was wise to change my gender label. Acceptance for even binary trans* people is sluggish, and nonbinary folks (neither male nor female) are all but invisible. I didn't want to explain my...