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Showing posts from December, 2012

A Chase.

I’d like to take this opportunity to wish you each a very happy New Year; may it present you with all of the joy, love and opportunities you hope for. On with the show. This is a portion of a fiction work in (very, very early) progress, and I hope it makes you all want to read more; follow me @mattjkonrad to find out if I ever finish the damn thing. -- Saturday, July 4 The first fireworks exploded over the Mississippi as I ran through the alley behind my own house. I didn’t know the exact intentions of the man chasing me, but the gun and the yelling and the broken window he’d left at Elise’s place led me to believe that he wasn’t trying to return misdelivered mail. As another fiery bloom took shape over the water, I paused for a split second to check on his progress. Just before the BOOM, I caught a glimpse of him silhouetted in red, exuding anger even though I couldn’t see his face. As the light faded, he turned toward my back porch, and I swore to myself; I’d been hoping to steal int

If you ever get bored, just open your eyes

I have two young sons, aged 2 and 4 and before they were born I started to make a list of things they might find useful as they grew up. I keep adding to it, but thought I'd share a few to my fellow listservers. You won't find any 'live as if every day is your last' or 'follow your dreams' because for me they don't add anything. If anyone has others to add, then email me and I'll send then all I receive to those who submitted! 1. If you ever get bored, just open your eyes: This is a great reminder for me that we normally stumble around the world on automatic mode, missing so much around us. It's a reminder to stop now and then, especially when bored, to look around and try to see things that you may have not seen before. This also reminded me of a great quote by the late hypnotherapist, Milton Erickson: "have you ever noticed that every blade of grass is a different shade of green?". it still amazes me that simply asking yourself this ques

Absinthe and OJ

If you ask anyone from any period in my life, they’d probably tell you I was always saying how I was going to start playing open mics. Next week, next month, someday I was going to start doing it. And even though the vast majority of my free time goes into my music, to this day I haven’t started playing out. But I’ve done what I think is the next best thing. Around the time that I signed up for the The Listserve, I started a project called Absinthe and OJ (.com). And that’s what I wanted to show everyone. The idea behind it is to get whatever I come up with recorded and online without thinking about it too much. Then once it’s out there, I can get feedback and post new revisions. I’m still in the phase of getting down first takes of all of the stuff I have written and I have a looong way to go, so there haven’t been too many revisions. There also hasn’t been too much feedback… I have under 300 listens on my SoundCloud account. (And lets not talk about how many of those are from me…) So

The fear of "No"

I'm a photojournalist, which means that I get to meet and talk to a lot of people that I normally wouldn't. I love it. But as an introvert it can sometimes be difficult for me to ask people for permission to let me into their lives. Some times I'm around a subject for mere moments and the assignment is complete, other times it takes me days/weeks to complete a story, which means spending a lot of time with the person. I have come to find that when I know that I'm only going to be around someone for a short period of time it's easier for me to ask if I can photograph them because I am able to convince myself that it doesn't matter what they think of me because I am likely never to see them again. It is subjects that I have to return to multiple times in order to complete a story that I have a more difficult time with. I begin to worry about what they will think of me, and that they will not want to be photographed and followed around, and that they will find me t

Memories of light

+ Ash-dark flakes of snow falling against a neon-white sky. + The sting of mountain sunlight, while playing checkers outside the Café Girasoles. On the back of the neck, you could feel the burn beginning, a red stripe beneath the pink stripe of the insect bites. The chickens in the field, and the beautiful shadows of the defunct Ferris wheel, angular and so black that they had a little glow around their edges, as around the body of a swimmer seen from the below. + Piercingly clear Swiss alpine light gleaming on the breakfast plate like a coiled diamond necklace. + Taking a shower in Koenji -- the clatter of bright droplets -- the winter sun, that November, was weak, and gave almost no warmth -- but it filled out the steam and the steam distributed the light 'til the shower was a cube of bright vapor. + In the thick high-summer resinous smell of the sage and chaparral and monkey flower. The air very clear, the light hot on the path, pale dust on the leaves of the blackberry tangles

" Hey everybody! "

I have to be honest. I think this is a great concept and I'm glad that it got such a great reception. I am really happy to have been chosen but to be honest I'm not particularly well spoken. I'm an artist and just started a job in June making a video game called Mage Faire Online. This is where things get interesting... I absolutely love it but if it has taught me anything, besides the ridiculous amounts of real world experience I've gotten so far, it is that everything, even your dream job can have ups and downs. It's amazing to think that something that you always want your entire life can have ANYTHING negative to it, but that's life. So, then what did this lead me to realize? Well, it made me realize that happiness is a lot simpler than people think. Happiness is just that, being happy. The ONLY way to be happy, is to be happy. What I mean is that you should just feel happy about life, things you have, and not worry about the things you don't. OK, the ot

A personal allegory

I wrote this years ago, on my way to boot camp. If you enjoy, feel free to respond. 600 words is hard. I look behind me and there is light. It shines with a great brightness. I look ahead of me and see: Nothing. I see darkness and despair, the unknown. How silly I must look to anyone watching, up here standing between my past and my future. The bright security of my past illuminates me from behind, making me visible to all I am yet to see. I turn and face the brightness. How easy it would be to walk back there and stay where I am. I look over my shoulder and shiver. Surely the darkened path is steep, uneven and cluttered with debris that will make me fall. I should just go back down the path I know. I know it is level and clear. I start down the lighted trail, going back to smiling faces. First the faces of those I know, faces of love. The trail is steady and clear. My past quietly whispers that I should return to the new path. Then I understand. These are the people I wou

Teach Only Love

I've been on this earth far longer than time I have left. And in my years of travel, I want to share about Peace and Love. When people tell me wow, you have an amazing, well balanced, respectful son and he's still a teenager, the only parenting advice I give is to release the need to control and send out love. Forget the false praise or horrible punishments and focus on the issue at hand and take each moment to educate. The same goes with our careers, relationships, friendships and interaction with non-human beings. Send out love, release control and fill your core with a solid knowing that life is full of possibilities. I've been homeless and I've had riches.. I've had cancer a few times and I've been healthy. At the end of the day, it's always okay. A shout out to my life partner Christine, for being my rock. Namaste, Kolleen Kolleen Shallcross Kolleen[AT]mac.com Long Island, New York

About design and education

After graduating design studies in Milan, I decided to move to the most beautiful place on earth - Dunedin, New Zealand. This quest to find beauty and peace, led me to an intriguing and unexpected job: a designer in the university’s center for teaching and learning (HEDC). There, I learned that design and teaching are not far apart at all. The design thinking process is devoted to solving complex challenges in creative and practical ways. The world of teaching is filled with complex challenges, from finding ways to explain difficult concepts, through to designing a curriculum, or helping students experience a topic rather than be told about what it is. Collaborating with my colleague, Dr. Clinton Golding, an educational philosopher, we began teaching lecturers how to solve their challenges using the framework and the tools we developed. They found it useful and reinvigorating, and reported a positive change in their practice. I recently moved back to my family in Israel. Now, I work wi

Some People Walk Calmly Through Life; I Run Through It

Each runner has their own reason for completing a marathon. Perhaps to cross something off the "bucket list," to prove to others/self, to maintain a healthy lifestyle, to have fun, the possibilities are endless. My quest to 26.2 miles began three years ago, just to say I could. At least, that's what I thought. Ten years ago I tried to kill myself. Not in the teenage angst suicide type way - I was diagnosed with anorexia when I was fourteen. I firmly believe that eating disorders are not a sole result of media and social pressure, rather a mental disease. I had no idea the harm I was inflicting upon myself. I did not understand why I was banned from playing soccer, riding my horse, dancing, things that brought joy to my life. My life seemed chaotic and food/eating was the only thing I could control. Clearly, as I write this to you, I survived my sickness - a miracle, but that is a story for another time. Now, I look back on those dark days as a marathoner. Why? Through tra

Get your geek on

Hellooooooooooooooooooooooo! (I'm imagining that as an echo but it's probably more digital) I have 2 things to share with you that are important to me, and that I hope some of you will join in with. Read And Find Out (.com) I've been part of an online community for over a decade that started around a series of fantasy books (The Wheel of Time) and has since grown into something much more broadly geeky, with a dash of the eccentric, and I love it. I've met many excellent people through it (online and irl) from all over and there’s nothing quite like being amongst My People. The internet is neat, huh? The community wouldn't exist without these lovely people though so if you like fantasy, sci fi, books in general, or any other gubbins that you feel like chatting about to randoms online, come and say hello - we're at Read And Find Out .com and newbies are delicious. Coding In another flavour of geek, I've not long started my first proper tech job (they pay me t

This year I had the privilege of volunteering at the London ...

This year I had the privilege of volunteering at the London Olympics. I took 2 weeks holiday from my regular job in order to help at Wembley Stadium, where 9 matches of the men's and women's football tournament were played. I loved meeting spectators and volunteers from all over the world and was proud to welcome visitors to my country. I'll always remember and be inspired by the way that the Olympians embraced the competition, realised life long dreams and found years of hard work finally paying off. You find me today as I fulfill a life long dream of my own. I make computer games for a living and this evening (December 12th), a product I've worked on is being released to the public for the first time. It's been a long road to this point; I've worked through university, broken in to the industry and suffered the heartbreak of cancelled projects. Today, I look back on it all and feel very grateful to the family that raised me, my partner who supports me every da

(In)opportune

A long time ago, I was hit with a sudden fever on my way home. As I came out of the subway, I felt so sick I could barely keep my eyes open, and the ten minute walk to my door (in the rain) seemed unfathomable. As I dragged myself down the street, I was consumed with self pity, and didn't notice the two children near me, splashing in puddles, until one jumped up close to me, spraying me with muddy water. "Watch what the fuck you're doing!" I snapped at them, my anger suddenly as hot as my fever. The children, drew back and apologized. I composed myself, and gave one of my own. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have sworn at you, but please be more careful next time". My head swimming, I turned and headed home. The kids followed. "Do you live around here?" they asked, and suddenly we were having a conversation about the neighborhood, their school, their friends. Before I knew it, we were at my corner. We said goodbye, parted ways, and I never saw them

Three disparate things

First, I wanted to share a quote from a better wordsmith than I: “Every one of us is, in the cosmic perspective, precious. If a human disagrees with you, let him live. In a hundred billion galaxies, you will not find another.” - Carl Sagan The brain is too amazing and too capable to be wasted on hate. Secondly, a story as part of Bill Bryson's book A Short History of Nearly Everything: [Discussing the international scientific venture to measure the transit of Venus from different spots on the globe to determine the distance of the Earth from the Sun. The story concerns one man’s hapless plight in 1761.] “[Guillaume] Le Gentil set off from France a year ahead of time to observe the transit from India, but various setbacks left him still at sea on the day of the transit -- just about the worst place to be since steady measurements were impossible on a pitching ship. Undaunted, Le Gentil continued on to India to await the next transit in 1769. With eight years to prepar

Learn

“It’s not that I know a lot more than everybody else; it’s that I want to know more.” A very wise woman said these words to me, and I have breathed them in ever since. If you have that desire—that spark—to dedicate a minute, an hour, a day, or your life to learning, amazing things can and will change. This doesn’t mean sitting in a classroom and listening to lectures, this means immersing yourself in new situations, new places, new conversations, and new perspectives. I plan to live with this mindset for the rest of my life. The smallest changes in my daily routine teach me so much; I have learned from these experiences and learned to take bigger, and bigger risks. Listen to This American Life, eat a chocolate mousse cake for a snack, be a Buddhist for a day, move to Indonesia, backpack, read The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime over and over again, laugh too often, cry even more, smile, befriend a stranger, embarrass yourself, swap music with a friend, speak Mandarin,

I’m the same as a 5 year old me

I hate small talk. It drives me nuts. I’ll admit it, I’m basically anti-social. I’ve struggled with it my whole life. I am 27 now, and I feel that I should be less pessimistic, but I’m not. I have a support system of family and a fiancé who “get” me. But, I have no friends of my own, though I don’t think I’m a total freak. I have two modes, I either open up completely to people who I shouldn’t because I see them as “different” or I dismiss people who I think are too “normal”. I don’t know why I have a need to connect on a deep level. It’s my eternal struggle and I just wanted to share it… I lost my cousin earlier this year. He was 23. I wish he could have stuck around to become the person I know he was. I put my cat down on Saturday. I’ve had him ½ of my life. I miss you guys. I perform improv in Chicago. My fiancé speculated that people in the comedy / improv community are probably more in tune to when people are depressed, etc. and are more likely to address it, beca

Strange and true things

Here are some weird, true things I've learned about the world: 1) Each breath you take shares about 5 air molecules with Hitler's last breath. The equation to verify that yourself (assuming Hitler's last breath has evenly mixed with the rest of the atmosphere by now) is: Number of shared molecules = volume of lungs / volume of atmosphere * molecules inhaled per breath Those three numbers are (roughly): 1 liter, 5 * 10^21 liters, and 3 * 10^22 molecules If that bothers you, feel free to replace "Hitler" with "Gandhi" or "Jesus." If it doesn't bother you, replace "breath" with "glass of water" and "Hitler" with "dinosaur pee." 2) It's possible to cut a sphere into 5 pieces and rearrange the pieces to make two spheres as big as the original. Google the Banach-Tarski paradox. The catch is that the cuts are bizarre, infinitely complex cuts, so you can't do it in real life. I don't g

My Ride or Die

My mother always wanted me to write about her for those radio show contests. She stopped asking but I never did it. I felt the public recognition wasn’t necessary. She’s my best friend, the one who keeps me going when I can’t motivate myself. I love her to death and don’t know where I would be without her. She became a single mother when my dad was killed. I was a baby. She didn’t crumble but fought back. My family’s life hasn’t been easy but she’s managed to put me through an Ivy League University and support me in my current quest of attending medical school. I realize now that I should have entered her in some of those contests. Sometimes, private recognition isn’t enough. So, here it is – her recognition. This isn’t a contest and she’s not going to win a prize but you knowing is enough. Do me a favor; drop a note to the email address, stating that you heard about her story and what it means to you. Kimmie Baltimore City, Maryland

I Am, Then

Where are you right now? On your couch at home? At your desk at work? Standing in line at a coffee shop? Wherever you are, you will always be there. Wherever you were an hour ago, that "you" will always be there. Every moment exists in time. Think about it. It then follows that whatever you will be doing in the future....is already happening. Take it however you wish ("What about free will?"), but think about the novelty of it; specifically, what it means to be "in the past." You will always be sitting at your desk. Or on your couch. This very second -- the one right now -- now -- ......now -- of you reading this sentence, remains. Forever. Sorry if you think it was wasted. But you (and I) will forever be sitting in front of a computer at work or stuck in traffic or saying goodbye to a friend or preparing for surgery or some kind of therapy or going through a bad breakup or holding in a heavy, dark secret. That breath you just took? You'll be breat

Sometimes you can, but sometimes you can't

A lot of the messages coming through Listserve are about seizing the day. Carpe diem; strive for the impossible; yes, you can; just do it! These are noble suggestions and aspirations and true in the sense that yes, the world is your oyster, and you can change it to suit your dreams. I've experienced this too: push the world in a certain direction and you'll find that it will move. However. I've recently been struggling with something I find difficult to put into words – the idea that sometimes, no you can't. This is in part trying to escape the tyranny of the overachiever, the idea that _only_ a life lived full steam is a life worth living. But mostly it's the simple fact that much as I'd like to permanently experience the state of Flow, much as I'd like to incessantly spread love and enthusiasm in my life, most of the time I can't. I don't mean to sound cynical or depressed, nor need cheering up (like I said, I agree with the principle of You Can

Gourmet Microwave Cooking

Here are some simple recipes to get you started with microwave cooking! Pasta: 1) Find a microwavable bowl. 2) Fill with pasta and water 3) Microwave for 10 minutes 4) Burn yourself on the bowl as you remove it from the microwave Ghetto Chicken Parmesan: 1) Take microwaveable chicken nuggets 2) Add splash of tomato sauce (from jar) 3) Add cheese 4) Microwave Ghetto Pad Thai: 1) Follow pasta recipe, swapping pasta for brick of ramen noodles (WITHOUT FLAVOR PACKET) 2) Add a big ol’ glob of peanut butter 3) Microwave Ghetto Omelet: 1) Follow Pasta Step 1 2) Fill with egg and cheese 3) Microwave until egg is rubbery instead of slimy Finally, I’d like to take a second to be selfish. To be completely honest with you, when I found out that I got to write one of these emails, I thought to myself, “How can I profit off of this?” Well, my paypal account is the same as my email address, so if you want to throw me a couple of dollars, it would be an easy way for you to make a

Words

I received the Listserve selection email the day I passed my test to become citizen of the U.S. I thought that’d give me something to write about, but then I found myself sitting in front of a blank word document. Nothing. Which isn’t to say I have nothing to express, but rather that I’m not quite sure how. This happens more often than it should. I’m a college senior studying film and journalism; in essence, I’m building myself up for a career of words, yet I often struggle to use them. So instead, I’d like to share some (rather random) words from others. Often when you don’t know what to say, someone already has: “We can have in life but one great experience at best, and the secret of life is to reproduce that experience as often as possible.” — Oscar Wilde Maude: The earth is my body; my head is in the stars. [pause] Maude: Who said that, Harold? Harold: I don’t know. Maude: Well, I suppose I did, then. — Maude, Harold and Maude “My drawing was not a picture of a hat. It wa

find what you love

Hello from Queensland, Australia! Right now it is a horrible 35 degrees (95 Fahrenheit) and I’m very jealous of all those in the Northern Hemisphere celebrating the beginning of winter. It was about a year ago now since I joined The Listserve and I had just finished school, and was about to start my first year at University. I remember being terrified about my future, I was about to start a new stage of my life and yet I had no idea where I was headed. Now, after one year, I have a stronger view on what I want to do with my life, even though it’s completely different to what I had first thought! So hopefully, in 4 years time, I’ll be finished University and starting out as a Spanish Teacher. (If anyone reading this is from Spain, I plan to visit here in 2014, so if you have any ideas of places to visit I’d love to hear from you!) I really want to be one of those teachers that a student remembers. Because even though high school for me wasn’t the greatest time, I can’t deny that I had

Vatican run, Harrowing Hanoi and Farting Hippo

It’s said that 72 hours of video are uploaded to YouTube every single minute. Despite the site’s massive size, I find that my relationship to YouTube is incredibly personal. Looking back at videos I have “favorited” or clips I have filmed from low resolution smartphones provides a montage of meaningful moments in my life: that song that that somehow encapsulate my college years, that music video that transports me back to San Francisco, even that video a hippo letting out a massive fart. :) Each of these videos has special meaning for me—whether they’ve influenced the way I think, remind me of a specific time in my life or just make me smile. At that end, I’d like to share a couple videos that provide a window into my life in a way that 250 words never could. If you’re interested in taking a look, head to YouTube and search for them exactly as they’re titled below. (My YouTube username is jnewman1986...lame I know). I hope you find meaning in these videos as well. The Vatican Run: A

From your friendly med school nerd

Hey all, I am in the middle of my second year of medical school, and these are some things that I believe in enough to share them with you: 1. Eat less, move more. People don't realize how detrimental being overweight is on every level—you’ll not only have a shorter life, but the the time you do have will be of terrible quality. So walk up the stairs. Going down the hall? Sprint there. Say no to that pizza. Eat more veggies. 3. Take a deeeeeeeeep breath and hold it. Now try to breathe in on top of that. That's what it's like for every breath for someone with emphysema. So if you smoke, think hard and decide whether it's worth having to breathe like that for a good chunk of your life. 4. VACCINATE. It’s frustrating to see websites/people making ludicrous claims that vaccinations cause autism or something crazy. Not vaccinating means unnecessary risk for yourself and entire populations. Many diseases aren’t seen in the US because of vaccination! Think about it this wa

Jobs, not jails

I was unemployed for a while and it sucked. While that was happening I wrote a little thing about my experiences and it was really fun. To read it, google "The Economy is a Piece of Shit," I'm the first hit. In general when shit sucks, just write about it and share it with the world. It makes things slightly better. Here is something else I'm writing about in the hopes that it gets better: The United States has the highest incarceration rate in the world. MEANING: We put more of our citizens in jail and prison than anywhere else. There are 2.3 million people in the United States in prison or jail right now. That number is so high I can't fathom it. Instead I see the impact of this number everyday at work. As a forensic social worker, I see young kids, brains not fully developed, who have been abused, neglected, and rejected from their families, schools, social service agencies, and society. Some of them have made bad choices in life, but often there are not man

Gift Giving

Why did I cling to him? New neighborhood, new school, new hormones, summer before freshman year in high school, like a (not so innocent) moth to a (bonfire) flame. From the age of 13 to 22, I took him in like poison, drop by drop. I still occasionally fight the thoughts and self doubt put in place over 8 years ago. You couldn't tell me anything; I would defend him and make you sorry you ever questioned our relationship. Through cheating, verbal abuse, physical altercations, humiliation, and manipulation, I let that poison take over my young mind. Like a drop of ink in water, it spread inside me, it took over my thoughts. What he said about my imperfections had to be true, right? What he wanted, I would fight to give him. I loved him more than I loved myself and destructively gave him everything I had so he would feel the same about me. I knew deep down it wasn't what love was supposed to be. I had a loving home, with parents that still have me in awe of their love for

Selfish Selflessness

What if I told you that there's something called "selfless selfishness"? (Try saying that three times really fast!) Throughout my college career, I always looked out for the best in others. I helped wherever I could, whether it was buying them lunch or going out of my way for a charity they were involved in. I never expected anything in return no matter what I did, and I thought there was nothing wrong with that. A friend approached me one day and bluntly said, "You're being selfish." Confused, I asked, "How could helping others out be selfish?" "Tell me Dat, How does it feel when you help others out?" I reluctantly replied, "Very good..." "Then why not give others the chance to get the same feeling?" Her words put things into perspective; I needed to let others have the opportunity to feel the same great feelings I felt when helping others. Giving and receiving is like breathing. Lungs function properly when air

Hell Yeah!

I've been through a key moment of my life since April this year. I had a strong spiritual experience that made me realize life as this huge adventure that you dont have any excuses besides enjoy it! I asked for an open heart and I received it, and now I have this mission to spread. One of the tools is this new project which I'd like to introduce you: THE MASSIVE HUMAN COLLABORATION PROJECT MHCP develops products and content that we believe can make people's lives more joyful. We do so with an open heart, because our work is the reflection of what we are as people, our interface with the world. MY CODE Be incredibly fun Be fair on you, so you will be fair on others Strongly believe in what you are doing Act by heart Embrace creative freedom Be fearless Respect people Don't put yourself below or above anything or anybody Be brave, you need to stand up to a lot of people that just did not stop to think like you did Be committed about doing differently Think

For the introverts and everyday man

I was told a while ago that I should write a book about networking…it was a joke. However, if you’d like some random social advice from a UNC-Chapel Hill senior, here ya go: 1) Never be shy introducing yourself. Anytime you approach someone, whether at work or a bar, it’s a compliment to them. a. People love to be approached for networking. Just by being interested you’re telling them that you see them as an expert in their field and you’d like to be where they are. I’ve never had anyone be less than thrilled when I asked them about their experiences. b. Ex. I met the Partner and CCO at my advertising agency internship recently who everyone thought was intimidating. He’s actually extremely open, easy to get along with and full of advice. Resulting from things that irk me: 2) If a girl is in a bar, she wants to be approached. Doesn’t mean you’ll be the one to get her number or take her home, but don’t be afraid to introduce yourself. a. Guys may have a

the memory that knows where you live

1. He is everywhere. Lurking in the woodsmoke that fills the house in winter, there's a memory of the first time we built a fire together. Cleverly tucked into the taste of cinnamon and cider, there's a memory of us walking underneath the changing leaves, steaming mugs of autumn in our hands. Sometimes, it's not so simple. Sometimes, it's a whiff of cologne in a crowd, and I am reminded of a shirt he used to own-- and the memory of that shirt unlocks whole passages of time spent together I hadn't thought of in years. The images come flooding back; the porch we'd argue on, the bed we slept in, the trip we planned for months and never took. You know the feeling: all it takes is one tiny thing, a domino, and a whole world of the past tumbles into focus. Triggered by a smell. A touch. A song. Memory. 2. Let's play a game. My name is Olga Nunes. I'm a singer, and for the past two years, I've been working on an album called LAMP. LAMP has a