TheListServe Blog

1. YELLOW - The morning I learnt that it was my turn to write for Listserve, we were having a long discussion with my family on how their past years of poverty has affected us (I got a sister and a brother) as kids. We cried together. I had a bedwetting problem until starting high-school. My sister got married at her 19. (We are both OK now, she has three wonderful kids) 2. PURPLE - Since the day I realized that I have a younger look than my peers and I will never have beards, my biggest challange has started: Not letting others define my character with their words/looks on how I look. (classic modern story) 3. TRANSPARENT - I belive that we people are destined to live with a misconception of ourselves no matter how hard we try. -This is something I discovered during my Sociology master.- Maybe that’s why I prefer “loving” to “understanding” or I belive “to understand” is only for “to love” 4.BLUE - I am an English teacher in a suburb of İstanbul. -Between “to educate” and “to be a g...

I've enjoyed reading everyone's messages, short and long, and in them I've found many beautiful words and inspiring thoughts. I'll share a story. We'd been drinking all night. We were in university, working for the student newspaper, and we drank in bars with wood paneled walls. I walked him home; it was on my way and I was happy just to be close to him. It had to end when we reached his door. Instead of going inside he leaned in, hugged me to him, and kissed me. His stubble burned my lips. He pulled back, and asked if it was ok; sounding almost afraid. It was. As a boy who'd resigned himself to the idea that no boy would ever love him back that moment was a fulcrum for many changes in the way I saw and lived my life. Best. 
Alex Alexander.k.eady[AT]gmail.com
 Ottawa, Canada

My self-harm, which was mostly a cry for help, which no one that could have done something for me picked up. I was fourteen and didn’t know how to ask for what I needed. Twelve years on, I’m in therapy and still fighting the urge to hurt myself – not daily, but more than I’d like. Being in and stepping out of an emotionally, sexually and psychically - in that order - abusive relationship. I never found that strength in myself again, and will be forever grateful to the boy who triggered it in me back then. Learning to drink coffee. It gives me calm and comfort on weekend mornings. Going to journalism school, which I dreamed about all through my five years of university and way before that. It opened a whole new world to me: suddenly I needed to do things, see the world, write!, after five years of sitting in benches, listening and taking notes. It made my love for writing and reading even bigger, and was a dream I would have blamed myself forever for not pursuing it. Music. Indulging m...

Karma is a bitch. It's a soft cuddly puppy that can greet you with a blissful expression if you are nice or bite your ankles if you are rude. I learnt this recently. I was traveling in the Delhi metro, when I bumped into a ragged, shabby looking kid wearing half pants. He fell on the platform and scraped his knees. I happened to have a Band Aid handy so I bandaged his wound and set upon my way. 3 stations out, I realized that my phone had been nicked. I immediately ran back to the boarding station with the intention of reporting the theft. As I was heading towards the police booth, someone tapped me on my hand and said to me in Hindi, "Here's your phone. My knees have been bleeding since morning. Although I have nearly a lakh rupees ($1700) worth of phones in my pocket, I can't really afford a Band Aid. Good Day". Karma is a bitch. A soft cuddly one in this case. Puts things in perspective doesn't it? I am Hem, 25 years of age. If anyone is coming down to Delh...

1: I find it expedient to distrust people who use the phrase "in any way, shape, or form". When it says "for your convenience we have..." then it is never for your own convenience. 2: Most people are not against you, they are for themselves (paraphrased from a comment on Reddit). 3: My son Riley turns five in August. Wish him happy birthday by writing him at rileyturnsfive[AT]gmail.com and tell us where you live. He and I will find your location on his globe. We will reply to the best emails with a video. I love you so much, Riley. 4: There is a lady in South Africa named Martha who helped to raise me. She is currently battling health issues and I just want her to know that I am thinking of her right now. Warwick Poole rileyturnsfive[AT]gmail.com West Chester, PA, USA

It was a frigid Canadian winter’s day and I was supply teaching in a local school. I was having a horrible morning. Remember how your prepubescent classmates treated the substitute teacher when you were a kid? Well, I was now THAT teacher. Needless to say, I was attempting to keep the class under control but struggling to do so. I knew that if I was to make it through the afternoon I needed a coffee. At lunch, I drove to a plaza about 10 minutes away and got my caffeine fix. As I approached my car, I suddenly realized that my keys were locked inside. Ugh. As was my cell phone. Ugh again. Panicked and desperate, I hurried into a nearby McDonald’s and approached the man at the counter (who turned out to be the manager) and asked him if he could call me a cab. I briefly explained my situation and I could tell from his expression that he sympathized with my desperation. I was a little beyond stressed at this point. When you are substitute teaching, you are basically trying to make the best...

Greetings! I write to you all about one of my passions, travel. I am afflicted by what is likely the most amazing affliction possible, wanderlust. I am fascinated & fixated on exploring this planet as often as possible. Being able to see & experience places that are vastly different from where I've lived puts everything in a new perspective. You learn to appreciate what you have, or to realize that there are better ways of doing things. You understand why some places are the way they are, or learn that some parts of the world defy understanding. Travelling to new & unfamiliar places makes you a better person. I know that not everyone has the means to travel to distant lands. But you don't need to. Sometimes going somewhere unfamiliar means driving for a few hours to a place that is unlike where you live (different scenery, different culture, different language, etc). Or go hiking & explore a forest, desert, beach, or grassland that you've never seen u...

Good morning from Hawaii! This week I'm enjoying a wedding and some vacation. I need to remember to stop not taking vacations. I miss the World Cup already. 3 or 4 international matches every day spoiled me. Last year I moved to Austin, Texas after 7 years in Colorado. I love both states. I'm the oldest of 4 children & I'm terribly proud of the younger 3. We live in 4 different states, but get together when we can. Next month begins my 34th year on the planet. Time flies. I haven't owned a car in almost 8 years, preferring to get around by motorcycle, skateboard and bicycle. Currently playing FIFA 14 and Titanfall, I'm 'OfficeEnforcer' on Xbox One if you'd like to join. Lately I'm interested in learning more about building / structure architecture and data visualization. Message me if you have interesting examples of either I should see. I'm also fascinated by the things people chose to carry with them. If you have time after reading this, se...

I teach tenth-grade English at a public high school in the South Bronx. I love my job because of my students, who are kind, thoughtful, and unthinkably resilient kids who all want a satisfying and stable life. The biggest obstacle between my students and success is literacy. Without strong reading and writing skills, graduation and college admission become impossible dreams. To raise literacy, we need an enormous supply of engaging, diverse texts, a library where any student can find a book that they can't put down. In the last year, I have worked non-stop to build the only classroom library in our school, collecting from willing publishers, friends, and other schools. I'm happy to go anywhere I can in/near New York City to add even a book or two to our classroom, and the result has been a classroom already full of books, and a tenth-grade recognized by the school as an impressive cohort of independent readers. There will never be enough books for my students - the more we can ...

Hi all! I'm a 23 year-old-reporter writing about technology for Business Insider. I've been living in New York City for less than a year but I'm already head-over-heels for it and I thought about writing out all the reasons why but then I decided to just list some of the things that I have written down in the "Beauty" note on my phone: A man playing Amazing Grace on the bagpipes in the subway of Grand Central Station  Spilled gold glitter nail polish on the dark tiles of the Port Authority bus station floor, that you notice every time you're there Cheek kisses from subway strangers, paired with the advice that you should drink bitters for hiccups "You are a blurry young person" Coming home tipsy on a Tuesday night helps you remember how much helps you remember how much you love new york city — when the wind ruffles your hair in the subway as you feel the train approach and when you get on your car and it's eight nine ten eleven two o'clock an...

Hey everyone, I am writing to you from Mundrabilla Roadhouse in the outback of Western Australia. I’m a 27 year old from Ontario,Canada who’s been living in Australia on a working holiday visa for nearly two years now. While I have seen some incredible coastlines and met some incredible people I have chosen to write about my current situation which is at an extremely remote roadhouse along the Eyre highway. For anyone that doesn’t know, this highway is the only route linking South Australia  to Western Australia. The Western Australia part of the highway is virtually treeless, flat, saltbush covered terrain that is practically unchanging. I am 13 hours inland from Adelaide and 16 hours inland from Perth. There are no towns out here, only roadhouses located about 100-200 kms apart from each other. Due to it’s remoteness some parts of the highway are even used as emergency airstrips for the Royal Flying Doctor Service. In March, I decided I would spend 6 months of my last visa out here. ...

My favorite band is Interpol. The deep, dark, melancholy chords layered with Paul Banks' voice is comforting to me. My favorite songs are "The Lighthouse" and "Leif Erikson". I grew up in low income housing in the Lower East Side of New York City in the 80s. I've since moved to my own place but still live in the neighborhood. Things have gentrified quite a bit since then, with a trendy restaurant, bar, gallery, or boutique opening up every week. There's still a grittiness here that I hope doesn't wash away the cultural roots that have been laid down generations before. My parents immigrated from China in 1978. When they arrived, they had no family, no friends, no money, no degree, didn't speak any English and had to feed my 4 year old sister. They are the most unselfish, hard-working, and resilient people I know. They sacrificed everything so my sister and I could have a good life.  They're in their mid 60s now, and the other day my mom said ...

It’s interesting to see how obsessed our culture has become with body image. From perfect celebrities on magazine covers to slender runway models, we hunger for beauty – or what we perceive as beauty. My mother fights hard to stop me from wanting to change or alter my appearance. As a young teenager, I was not allowed to experiment with eye shadows or hair dye. I remember putting up (what was then) a convincing argument to be permitted to start shaving. I didn’t want my track and field teammates to make fun of my hairy legs anymore. I finally got my ears pierced right before freshman year of high school. A little over a year ago, while living and working overseas in Southeast Asia, I was about 90% certain I wanted to get a tattoo. Though I was a recent college grad at the time (and feeling both independent and somewhat of a rebel), I still had the urge to consult my mom for her guidance. She told me it was my body, and I could do what I wanted with it. Needless to say, I left Indonesia...

I dated a girl in Canada for less than six months back in 2006. I still think about her all the time. I’m not sure if that has as much to do with her as it does with who I was at the time. I want to be that guy again. Before that, I dated a girl, on and off, for about five years, maybe more. Neither of us was very serious about it, or so I thought. She made a point of telling me I wasn’t the one she was looking for, but in retrospect, I think she said that because she knew I felt that way. I think she felt more for me than I did and I wish I’d been mature enough at the time to see how wonderful she was to me. I still think about her a lot, and feel quite a bit of affection for her. She was a really good person. I think she’s happy now, and that makes me feel a little better. During a longer break with the girl above, I had a short relationship with a girl who had two kids. They took me into their lives quickly and I became part of theirs. I enjoyed playing the family man, the surrogate...

I’m 22 and moving to New Orleans, LA from Modesto, CA on Monday. I graduated from Yale College in May and am going to start in August as a 7th grade math teacher at Success Preparatory Academy in Tremé through Teach for America. My last few days in my soon-to-be-ex-hometown have been spent running around to appointments, with quite a lot of familial awkwardness sprinkled in between. Being home so little over the last four years has made every conversation and interaction with my parents and siblings carry far more importance than necessary, and the disconnects and gaps in understanding make for arguments that, in the moment I’m having them, feel regretful, yet unpreventable. Accepting parental awkwardness, but not shying away from sincerity I hope comes with age. My 22-year-old brain isn’t capable of just appreciating and accepting. It’s crazy how much effort I put into speculating whether my parents are proud of me, whether they are happy, whether they support what I want to do in lif...

Hi, Can you tell which country would fit on a stamp? That's my country. But let's not make things difficult, I come from the land of beer, chocolate and waffles. In that order. Still don't know? Okay then, it is bordered with France, the Netherlands and the United Kingdom (just a stone's throw away). Yep, you guessed right, it's Belgium! I'm the proud father of a little angel named Alice. She is 17 months old and makes me smile every morning. So much happiness in such a small body, there must be magic involved. :-) I work as a web developer and a translator (Russian-English-Dutch into French) and I love learning new things. I'm also a scout. Belgians love scouting actually. And scouting has a purpose: making the world better by contributing to the education of young people. Did you know that a scout makes his best to do a good turn every day? That's our contribution to this world. Small streams make large rivers. I decided that I should contribute to mak...

Hello Listservers! In the absence of any wisdom to share with 25,000 of you, I’m instead going to blab about some books. Books are my passion and my job and a thing that I spend a lot of every day thinking about. I love creating stories and I love to be told them, too – so thank you, email-writing folk of the Listserve, for already sharing so many stories with the rest of us. I thought I’d tell you about 5 of my favourite books from the different bits of my life so far. As a baby: ‘The Little Red Car’, by Rosalinda Kightley: I’ve been informed by reliable sources (parents) that, in my earliest years, I was deeply attached to this book. Apparently I handled it, chewed it and flung it around until the cover peeled into two. It’s no longer in print, but I’d love to get hold of a copy to try and work out what on earth was so good about it. As a child: ‘After the Storm’, by Nick Butterworth: A storm damages an old oak tree in the middle of a park, leaving some animals homeless. So, the park...

Good evening, Listservians! I was rather surprised about winning the lottery. I even calculated using the geometric distribution that my chances of being a winner during my membership so far stand at about a measly 2%. Just after getting the email about winning I went out hiking with a friend in a nature reserve south-east of town. It certainly was one sweltering summer day. I assumed that the silence of the woods, the stillness of a perfectly calm and slightly remote lake, a meal of fried potatoes, onions, fish and a couple of beers would quickly instill some inspiration regarding what is worthy to write some 25,000 people. Unfortunately, this did not quite work as a firestarter for my mind. Perhaps a rainy day in a cabin or shelter would have yielded better results? So, summing it up, the unlikely moment is here for me to write for the Listserve, but it turns out I might have failed to churn out a memorable writeup. Nevertheless, I enjoyed the day in the woods.   If I have learnt som...

Hello Listservians! Hello to any Tucsonans! Hello to anyone from Cañon City, CO (Go Tigers!). Hello to anyone from Leadville, CO (I'm a Boom Days Baby!). What to write...what to write. Keep it simple, but make it good. Ok, let’s try this. I’ll start with an easy recipe for great taco dip. Equal parts cream cheese and sour cream mixed with a generous amount of taco seasoning to taste. Finish by mixing in shredded cheese and then topping with lettuce and tomato. Good stuff, super fast. Let’s move on to a story. In the fall of 2009, a group I was involved in during college came into possession of a 3 piece pink tuxedo for a breast cancer fashion show. After that show, we had no idea what to do with this item we had purchased. In January 2010, I came across info for a breast cancer 5k in town, and decided if I trained properly, I could run the 5k in the pink suit. So I bought the suit from the group, trained, and ran in the 5k that year. I’ve run that race in the pink suit for the past...

I’m a lucky guy: it’s my turn to write for all of you exactly when the World Cup is happening in my country, Brazil. It’s been an amazing event, not only because of the great games but especially because of the feeling. Everybody is happy, the 200 million Brazilians and the thousands and thousands tourists that came from everywhere in the planet. Our visitors are in love with Brazil. A French journalist wrote that he was shocked for visiting a place where everybody is kind and nice. An American journalist wrote that the feeling of this World Cup should be bottled and exported to Russia and Qatar, hosts of the next ones in 2018 and 2022. Everybody says this is the best World Cup ever, all games are a fantastic party that goes on to the streets of the 12 cities that hosted games. I wanted it would happen again here next year, some say all of them should be here. Brazilians always suffered from an inferiority complex. We used to think that our nation was not good enough for first world vi...

Hi, My turn has finally arrived - after being on the Listserve for 2 years - and I don't know what to say. Usually I'm a bright and cheerful person, but hey, it's easier to admit in front of 20.000 strangers rather than in front of my close ones, I've had a quite hard time lately. I’ve never been able to commit to someone, tell them I liked them, and call them when I wanted to. I fell in love for my sex buddy, never told him, got offended when he dated other girls, and then disappeared from his life. I fell in love with a married man, who broke apart his life - but never dared to ask him to come back to me. I never fell in love with the men that were in love with me, for some reason. What is the secret of love? Why don’t I get it? I see my friends - I’m 27 - getting married, or in stable and healthy relationships, or even just in love with someone, and I have to say, I envy them, because they know. I want to change my life, and I’m looking for a place to start, so if yo...

Greetings Listserve! :) I was wondering/dreading whether or not this would come around to me someday. It seems that the law of large numbers takes its toll to everyone. Perhaps I should buy a lottery ticket this week. My name is Chris Boden, I work for The Geek Group as a High Voltage/High Energy Physicist. That's a five-dollar way of saying "If you see me running, try to catch up". I have come to realize that my typical day is a bit, well, off the rails insane for the average person and I thought you guys might perhaps get a kick out of it. My average day at work consists of various combinations of the following. Giant robots, lasers, explosions, power generators up to 2.4 Million volts (that will throw a 20-foot arc across the room), Impulse generators up to 1.8 Billion Watts (at about 300,000 Amps), rockets, 3D printers, and god knows how many computers to make it all work together. It's basically Geek Heaven, and I wanted to share it with you guys, because you...

Unrelated point: Read Genesis Deflowered by Matthew Stillman. He turned Genesis into an interesting story filled with sensuality. Around 1982, I was in college studying to be an actress. Like any young woman my age, I criticized every aspect of my own appearance. My eyes were too deep-set. My nose was too big. My hair was too curly and wild. Women with normal eyes told me they spent ages trying to make their eyes look like mine. Women with normal-sized or cute pixie noses told me that they wished their noses were "more interesting." Women with straight hair assured me that they would pay good money if they could get their hair to look like mine. I asked around, and I found that women with straight hair wished desperately for curly hair. They spent a great deal of time trying to force their hair to hold curls. Meanwhile, women with curly hair wished desperately for straight hair! They spent a great deal of time trying to force their hair to be straight and smooth. Women with d...

Hi Listserve friends! I was so shocked that I won the Listserve lottery after only following it for about a month. When I got the email I thought it was some kind of mistake at first! I thought I'd stay with the company I work for now a lot longer, but recently something sparked my ambitious side and I realized that I'm bored, I'm not being challenged, and I need more. Part of what inspired me is that I keep reading and hearing more and more about how women tend to lack the confidence men have, won't apply for jobs unless they feel 100% qualified, don't negotiate their salaries, are severely underrepresented in the tech industry, etc. etc. I realize that all of that applies to me - I do tend to underestimate my abilities and go with the safest bet in my life decisions. So I went ahead and started looking, and I got responses right off the bat. It felt great! Now, a few weeks into my search, I'm interviewing for a couple of positions that I'm actually really ...

I dreamt last night that I was in the Port Authority Bus Terminal in Midtown Manhattan. Starting on street level, I entered its doors and made my way up toward the top, but it contained many more levels than in real life. On my way up I encountered two businessmen with their arms around one another, faces close but not touching, looking out a big glass window. Rahm Emanuel, democratic mayor of Chicago, passed them by and stepped onto the escalator. We made eye contact and I stepped on after him. My Brooklyn friend Emma called me on the phone and I gazed out the glass windows onto the skyline of Manhattan's tall architecture. People all around me. No one paying attention to anyone else in particular. Many cities have Pride celebrations in summer. Minneapolis, New York, San Francisco. All havens for LGBT equality. At least in comparison to Mississippi. I've lived here for just over a month now. We have gay people, I mean there are gay people everywhere. But I haven't seen any...

What would you tell yourself in 5 years? Write it in an email - tell yourself a story, predict your future, or send yourself a reminder. Send it to thevault.listserve[AT]gmail.com You'll get it emailed back (to the email address you used) in 5 years. Sarina T thevault.listserve[AT]gmail.com NY, NY

Namaste fellow Listservians, I'd like to begin this letter to you all with a Tibetan prayer for lovingness and kindness. "May all beings be peaceful. May all beings be happy. May all beings be safe. May all beings awaken to the light of their true nature. May all beings be free." I was once told, that I'm the guy who talks a lot about himself and the shit I do, but the reality is not everyone wants to listen to you! As much as I'd love to tell you the story of my life till now, I choose not to. Everyone has a story that is unique and beautiful. A year back I was broken. Today I'm fixed. (literally, since I ride fixies) My advice to my fellow Listservians, do what you want to do, live your life to the fullest and, if you believe in something (good, cherish-able and peaceful), give it your heart and soul till you achieve it, no compromises. Anything is possible, just believe in yourself. You can always write in to me at 3ennyj[AT]gmail.com, and, I'd love to ...

Hi everyone! My name is Ben and I am a 20 year old American college student hailing from the bustling metropolis that is North Bend, Washington. I actually attend university in Washington, D.C. where I am double majoring in International Affairs and German. Now that you at least know a few things about me, I’d like for you to go back to the subject line and read it over again. It is my opinion that to know a person, and I mean really understand what makes them tick, you must know what they are most afraid of. In the above paragraph I told you some basic information about myself, but all of that doesn’t really show who I am or what I am like. I am terrified of being forgotten. How about now? Know me a little better? I hope so. Let me give you a little insight into the depths of my fear. My fear motivates everything that I do. It’s why I moved 3,000 miles away to continue my education. Staying in my hometown with the same 5,000 people doesn’t lend itself to the kind of life c...

The playground mom's pants are undone. Her hot pink underwear is visibly exposed, and I can't tell if this is a fashion choice or if I should worry about her. She looks like she belongs at Burning Man, with her dreads and rainbow socks. She dials person after person to tell them how dizzy she feels. She is lying down on a bench. "It's the adrenaline," she says. She just got a place, and a steady job. She is dizzy from the relief. She finishes her calls and wanders after her daughter. I decide the undone pants are a conscious choice, or she would feel them about to slide down. Besides, I don't know how I would broach the topic. And pants or no pants, both of us are here to do our jobs. Beyond the most egregious acts, our references won't be checked. We have decades to go before our shifts end, whether dizzy, sick, or unstable. Our kids are on the slide, begging for our attention. We watch them, waving and calling out together. ......... I'm a writer who...