Saturday, November 29, 2014

a hoptimist telling nonsense

Hi @ all out there!

When I received the notification that I've won "The Listserve lottery" I was sitting on the train’s floor on my way to work. My non-dog-dog (too tiny for being a dog too smart for being a cat) was sitting on my lap licking a specific spot on my trousers. And I was deleting thousands of spam mails, almost falling asleep and trying to keep my eyes open (I almost deleted the notification).

I’ve lost my job and there are – three days, 8 hours per days – 24 hours left. I’ve been working there since I’ve left school and started the 10th year with the 2nd of November. I got told on 12thAugust - one day after I returned to work after I had to stay at home cause of a knee injury - that I’m fired. My boss asked me for an appointment, and I asked him if I was in troubles. “No, nothing special… just a 15 min-talk” was his answer. When I got told on the other day I started laughing at him and congratulated him for having the stones to do so. He looked at me as I’m a moon calf and yes I’m.

I don’t talk much about myself, but here – dear strangers – are some facts:

## I’m weird and crazy and not very tall. I’m a student, photographer, graphic designer, illustrator,… creative person. I was silly enough working there for 9 years, part-time studying and full-time working. I’m sometimes pusillanimous and sheepish but also stubborn as a mule and I’ve started to like the person I am just in that specific moment, when I started laughing at my soon-2-be-ex-boss.
## I got told from my father – and yeah, your parents should be telling you that you are the smartest and most awesome child in the world – that I’m crazy, dumb and so on for 25 years. The last time I’ve talked to him (the day before he moved out and the day before my parents got divorced) he yelled some really bad things at me and I started laughing and congratulated him for not having the stones to accept me as the person I’m.
## I really hate my eldest brother, cause he did some really bad stuff to me. I’ve never told all of it to anybody and for years I was persuading myself, that it has been my fault. To be honest I don’t really hate him, I just don’t take care of him anymore and started to take care of myself.
## My grandpa was more like my father than my father was. He was an awesome person and when he passed away in September 2010, some of my family-members thought I didn’t sorrow. But we had some really long talk in May 2010 and it was also the moment, when he said good-bye to me. After this day he was not the same anymore, he didn’t even recognize his wife and I was everyone – his daughter, his wife, old friends etc. Cause of this awesome person I’m studying and trying to do things I really want to do. Thx.
## I have Aim. Not only an aim – I really have many. But I’ve Aim – aka Amy, non-dog-dog. And the reason I got her, was cause I needed something to take care of, as it was a tough time for me and I didn’t take care of myself. It was after my parent’s divorce, my grandpa’s death and accepting, that it wasn’t my fault, what happened when I was younger.

So as you can see, I’m not in the position in giving you some good advices for your life. I’m not the right person in telling you how you’ve to live your life.

I’m a “hoptimist” - a hopeful optimist.
And I’m a hoptimist all time.

My friend is working in Kurdish republic and I know what’s going on there.
Someone I know is working in Mali – (the Ebola virus epidemic around Mali has led to thousands of deaths).
A friend of mine – who always wanted to have children – has got told, that she suffers from cervival cancer some weeks ago.

I’m not the right person in giving you some good advices. I’m just trying to give my best and to change the world in some (good/better/acceptable/wonderful/awesome) way.

I’m not a genius and I won’t find the global solution for every problem out there.
I’m trying to give my best – trying to make good graphic design (and not to accept bad one) to make our world a little more beautiful. I’m photographing to record (social) wrongs and bloom sides. I’m photographing and illustrating to make things visual. I’m trying to raise my voice whenever something bad happens.

I believe that we all can change the world in some way. And we all together can change it to a better place for everybody.

I’m a hoptimist.
And I started to believe in myself in August when I started to do what I want. I’m working together with my friend (who is the world’s best photographer – just had to mention that) – and although that was something I didn’t thought it would work - we already completed some nice joint projects since August. Music Posters, CI for start-ups, …

As we all know that a Listserve-mail without advices wouldn’t work or be right some random advices for you:

Believe in yourself - do some cool stuff - let’s do something together - drink more coffee – let’s help each other – read more books (the real books) – if you own a pet, cuddle it – if you own a dog one extra cuddle for it – kiss your friend more often – tell persons you love that you do so more often – do what you want, it will make you happy – lets swap some work – tell me something – write me a letter or a mail or just tell me to f* off – read the sandman-comics – listen to good music – if you have to, fart in the public – do something special in your spare time – don’t let the world end in a disaster – raise your voice against wrongs – Bananas make one constipated – if you are afraid, eat more bananas – watch some good films (really good ones) – insert some random advices here.

Greets and so

Sue and Amy

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