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The morning I got the email saying I had won the listserve, I was getting ready to go into surgery. And as I am currently writing this I'm still a little out of sorts, so I apologize if some of this doesn't quite make sense.

As to why I was getting surgery I was going in for my second corneal transplant. I had one done a few months ago and my body decided to reject it. While there are someways of reversing it those methods didn't work. So here I am sitting in a hospital while my eye is tearing up like mad and can't see well out of my other eye listening to cooking shows cause it's ten o'clock at night and nothing is good on.

I know for a large majority of the world you wake up turn over and are able to see your clock or your phone or significant other and don't give two thoughts about it. Those are the things I would love to be able to do. I would love to be able to read a standard print book without it giving me a headache. I normally give up within about twenty minutes. I would like not be so nervous going into the DMV to get my license renewed for fear that I would fail the vision screening. The day I moved into my dorm I had to put in night lights in all the hallways of our apartment so I wouldn't trip over my own two feet in the dark. My roommate a few days later while she was a little drunk asked me if I was afraid of the dark. I would love for my sister not be afraid of getting into a car with me. Not because I'm technically a bad driver, `cause she worried I won't see something and we'll end up in an accident.

I'm not ashamed of having this disease. I will easily and gladly tell people about it. But there somethings that when you have perfect or a corrected sight are hard to explain. Some people wish for money and better job. I wish that my vision wasn't as bad as it is. Before the surgery, I was 20/400 uncorrected and corrected I am 20/120. Legally blind is 20/200 corrected. I'm nearly there. I wholeheartedly believe that my vision will get better after this. That's what I'm holding on to.

So as a final word please get an eye exam regularly. It may seem silly if you feel like you're seeing fine but there are many problems that a regular doctor won't be able to see like a optometrist can. Also please become a donor. You can't say you would accept a donation if you were sick and in the same breathe say that you're not a donor. It doesn't work that way. If you believe that you have health conditions that would make it so that your organs wouldn't be viable there are many different ways for the medical and scientific community to use them. There are also ways to make so you only donate certain parts if that's your decision. Even if you choose not to become an organ donor, there are many other types of donation ranging from blood to bone marrow that could save someones life. Please do give it some deep thought.

I wish you all the best of luck.

Jennifer
jennifer.listserve[AT]gmail.com
Minneapolis, Minnesota

P.S. I want to give my thanks to another member of the listserve who I hope is still subscribed because she send hers such a long time ago and didn't include an email address. Lisa, who send hers on 15 February 2013, thank you. Your thoughts on BSL have kept me going through the months of my Interpreting program when I wanted to switch into something easier. I will hopefully be certified by end of July next year.

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