TheListServe Blog

Growing along a garden gate was a beautiful bush of yellow roses. Every day was sunny and beautiful, and the rose bush blossomed. As the days passed, she grew big and beautiful delighting in the joy she brought to the people who walked by her gate. The perfume from her yellow buds swept through the neighborhood on the afternoon breeze coaxing smiles from even those of a melancholy nature. Her spirit was optimistic and saw the positive even in a rainy day. After a time the rose bush became too overgrown. Her limbs heavy with her beautiful buds and their delightful fragrance. But also those shrewd thorns that snag unwary fingers. So as the afternoon began to wane, the Gardener brought out His pruning shears and began to cut away some of the growth. The rose bush wept for her lost limbs, the beautiful buds and even those shrewd thorns. For they had been part of her. As He worked the Gardener whispered in her ear, "Shhh, my beautiful rose bush. Be brave. For though the pain is sharp r...

No globe-hopping greetings (aw) or inspirational aphorisms (phew) from me, I'm afraid. Just a favor to ask. Please don't take someone you love for granted. Forgetting the thrill of those early years is as easy as falling asleep. Don't let it happen. I allowed myself to become unhappy, and I refused to work to understand why, and I utterly failed someone that I loved. I lost the most singular thing I ever had. That was years and years ago. She's fine now, I think. Most of my friends have learned to forget it, and I am lucky--absurdly lucky!--to once again count myself loved. It took a long time, but I like my life again. But the dreams about her are the giveaway, still there on way too many nights. I suspect they always will be. It would do no good, and probably quite a lot of bad, to tell this to anyone but internet strangers (hello there). Maybe someday I will concoct a story about it all being part of a grander plan. That sounds pretty nice! For now, please believe m...

Hi everybody, I'm pretty excited to be able to write to all of you. I've been on the Listserve since April 18th 2012. This is the first time I win the lottery. There are two things I thought about writing when I would win the Listserve lottery: how to introduce yourself to 24 101 strangers and how many of my friends are also on Listserve. As an introduction, here is something about me. I like to run. When I started training in 2013, it became a real passion. In 2014 I did two half marathons (2h23m and 2h29m). I plan to run three of them this year. I'm on a roll! :-) To all my friends who just learned I won the Listserve, here is a couple words for them in french: il y en a combien d'entre-vous qui sont inscrit? Je suis curieux de le savoir! On a closing note. One of my favorite quote comes from the TV show Mad Men: “If you don't like what is being said, change the conversation” - Don Draper Keep rocking! Pascal pascal.paradis[AT]gmail.com Montréal, Canada

It’s hard to put in words how someone can change your life. Since I met her, however, Abby has done just that. When I started my freshman year of high school, making friends was my biggest worry. That had always been difficult for me—I was introverted and awkward. I trudged to classes unaccompanied, ate meals alone, and avoided conversation. A few weeks into the school year, however, everything changed. I was studying in the library when, all of a sudden, a girl loudly called to me from across the room: “Hey! You in the blue shirt! Don’t I know you from choir?” I looked up, confused. “Um…yeah. I…uh…think so. I’m Adam.” The girl wasn’t fazed by my uncomfortable reply. Instead, she skipped over to me, introduced herself as Abby, and invited me to join her and some friends in a group planning an act for the school talent show. Taken by surprise, I timidly agreed. We left immediately for the music building. She skipped. I, somewhat embarrassed by her sprightliness, trailed behind. We found...

Hi Listserve! Like everyone else, I never really expected to win this lottery, but here I am with circa 24K willing recipients. So what am I going to use my platform for? All GOOD, of course. I'm going to give you some advice on being a better customer in a bar. See, I moonlight as a bartender (I run the Manhattans Project, a little cocktail popup in London (@ManhattansPRJCT)), and I love great customers. But isn’t the customer's always right? Nope. The customer is never wrong, but they sure as heck aren't as right as they could be. Very few drinkers know their spirits, liqueurs, how to balance a cocktail, what fruit is great that week, and what drinks a bar does best. Your bartender does. Firstly, stop ordering mojitos. Let me preface this by saying the mojito can be a glorious drink, but it's my bête noire. On a hot day, made well, it’s really up there. It’s just, mostly, people don’t drink them like that. They order them in a panic at a bar, and the bartender gets so...

I didn’t know this was possible, but I won the Listserve again! I wrote to you a few months ago the “post”, if you will, entitled “Questions for you: Psychology, dance, Disney, dating (and more!)”. I got some amazing responses (that I’m still working on responding to!). I can’t believe that I got another opportunity to talk to you guys but I am very thankful for it. Most people probably skipped this part of my last email, but I was planning a trip to Burkina Faso amid a collapsing government. I did get to go and it was the most amazing experience of my life and I did not want to leave. I met the most inspiring people and I could talk about it for days (I’d love to!) but I need your help. I went because of a research grant and now I’m working on my project which is on their (failing) education system. If you have any information on the following, please email me. If I use your information in my project, I’ll cite you and send you the results: 1. The education system in Burkina Faso or F...

The Project Manager, Steve, had everyone who was working on the new telecom technology moved into the same room on the top floor of the R&D building. We were there to stay until the work was done. And this changed everything. What Steve did was different. This was the mid-90’s in Cape Town, South Africa, and I was experiencing for the first time what it meant to be part of a team heading toward success. It’s incredible what a room of people all believing the same thing can achieve together and it felt analogous to the change the entire country was experiencing at that time too. I am still not sure what caused me to start writing down notes about Steve and the people around me, but I did. In the years since that first project I have had the pleasure of working alongside thousands of people across 35 countries and continued to take notes on observed behavior that led to moments of meaning and significance. For all of you kind Listserve people, here’s a glance at a few of the best fro...

I don't have any wise words or fascinating stories to share, but I do have a question. My family moved around just enough when I was growing up that I have always been curious about what it means to have a hometown, to belong to a place. I would love if you could tell me a little about where you're from. What's your hometown like? My email address: masuma.ahuja[AT]gmail.com Masuma Ahuja masuma.ahuja[AT]gmail.com Washington, DC

"Music is a higher revelation than all wisdom and philosophy" by Ludwig van Beethoven is one of my favourite quotes. Music is always with me, in every life situation - good, bad or a mixing of every imaginable feelings. I'm Thomas, a 23 year old young man from Vorarlberg in the western of Austria. After my 9 month long compulsory paid community service in a parish office which was a great time, I've decided to work as a Frontend Web Developer because that's my passion. Many of you already told their incredible stories and shared their life experiences - I just want to share some great music with all of you. I've started a music blog 2 months ago where I share the music that goes along with me everyday. The name is "eargasm.at" and I'm sure that your opinions about the name are divided. Nevermind, I would love to get feedback because I'm still working on it! The company I'm working is currently building an Open Source CMF (Content Manageme...

When I was a kid, I didn't have many friends. I didn't talk to many people about how I was doing, or what was going on for me. My childhood wasn't bad (it was actually pretty great), I just never talked about myself. As I got older, it got harder to talk about myself or my feelings. It was even hard to talk about what I wanted. That's normally not an issue. It didn't matter much if I was happy, sad, or frustrated in math class. It didn't matter if I was excited or ashamed at work. Just do the things and keep moving. Being able to express feelings only really matters in relationships with people. Unfortunately for me, it turns out that relationships with people are everywhere. Not just romantic relationships, but also friendships and family relationships. Relationships with teachers and coworkers. Even my relationship with myself. Everything seems easier for people who know what they feel, and can talk about it. I didn't know how to tell people what I was fee...

I’m not much of a storyteller myself, but my dad has always been. I will do the best to encompass his ability to tell stories, and by doing so I will tell a piece of his story. One of my dad’s favorite tales to tell is the first time I rode a rollercoaster. This love affair began when I was little and my family took a trip to Virginia. All day I had been asking to go on a rollercoaster. It intrigued me the way that they twirled in the air and screams of laughter rang from within. This was something I needed to try for myself, but I was just too short. Finally, we came across “The Big Bad Wolf”. The name sounds far more intimidating than it was, and after further inspection, this was the one. I was just barely tall enough if I stood on my tippy-toes. We made our ascent to the top, whooshing through the ride, spilling out with laughter and screaming. Then, the ride began to go up another hill that was twice as big as before. My eyes began to grow to the size of a silver dollar and I inst...

Hello, My name is Sarah, and I currently live in Orlando, Florida, but I'll always be a Bostonian at heart. I love to travel and somehow managed to find my heart's true home somewhere in Spain. Visa issues and the realities of life pulled me back to the US, where I get to enjoy the company of my family and friends. I love the idea of The Listserve, but have been disappointed in all of the life advice and motivational cliches. However, now that I've won, I find myself typing and deleting the same pithy refrains, like "be nice." Inspired, right? Since The Listserve is about connections, I'd be interested to learn who I know who is a member of the Listserve. If you know me, let me know that you've seen this. Maybe we'll rekindle a friendship, or create a new connection with an old acquaintance. Whether I know you personally or not, I hope you have a lovely day. Also, Hi MaxPower. Sarah Orlando, FL

“Hi! I'm your lawyer. If you plead guilty, I get paid double, and you'll get out of jail.” In the USA, if you are criminally charged and too poor to hire a lawyer, then the government is required to provide you with an attorney. The myriad processes vary from state to state, county to county, and even from court to court. There are two ways that government provides representation to the poor: either a public defender office, or an appointed attorney plan. A public defender might be funded by the state or the county. They will have a support staff, such as secretaries and investigators. Their lawyers are paid salaries, with benefits. They struggle under very large caseloads and long hours. Often, it is difficult for a defendant to be considered poor enough to qualify for their services. A jurisdiction without any public defender office may use a less expensive appointed attorney system, where attorneys in private practice are assigned to assist poor defendants. Those attorneys a...

This is a story about love and loss and learning to love myself. From 14 to 21, I was in a relationship with a person I still consider "one of the best guys I've ever known." In that span of 7 years, loving him was all-consuming: from spending everyday together in high school, to following him to college, to finally moving in together. We settled into comfortable. What should’ve been a period of individual growth and self-discovery was instead a catalyst to codependence. We had no interests outside of each other so we continued, year after year, growing older together but not growing up. Around the 7-year mark, he started asking his engaged friends how they knew they were ready to propose. I knew instantly that he wasn't asking because he was ready, but because after 7 years together… he was trying to shake the feeling that he didn't want to propose to me. He had accepted a truth I was too stubborn (scared?) to face: we weren't right for each other. When I fin...

I actually won the list serve on my birthday so Happy Birthday me! Music is my biggest passion by far. However I do not like singing or guitars, they have a grating effect on me. Instead I listen to many styles of bass music and work in my free time as a DJ and a Promoter. I’d like to share some of the artists/labels I rate most highly if you are curious to hear something new. I’ll list their Soundcloud ID’s below: /spookybizzle /djqmusic /alanparley /tumbleaudio /butterz /the-outside-agency /counterstrike Thanks for reading. Lee Johnson Thedjcandyman[AT]Googlemail.com Milton Keynes, UK

So I won. I have been a part of the Listserve for almost 5 years. There have been several times when I wanted to be chosen. Now I am sitting in the country of Jordan caught totally surprised by the email saying I won. I had always hoped I would be doing something memorable when I got the email. The first draft of this email was very different. Then I heard a story about a Syrian Refugee that I wanted to share. A volunteer went to a Syrian family over a year and a half ago. There was a 5 year old boy who had experienced bombing while fleeing the country. The volunteer tried to get the boy to play but he just stayed catatonic. From then on the volunteer held the boy in his arms every time he visited. This went on for about 6 months. Then the volunteer brought a ball and put it in the boy's hand. Nothing happened till the boy dropped the ball. It didn't bounce but stayed on the ground for a few seconds before shooting across the room. The boy chased after it and started showing ...

Man.. I think I may be the only person who was dreading winning the listserve. Writing is very difficult you see. Over 4 years ago I developed what specialists ambiguously call "overuse syndrome". Unofficially thoracic outlet syndrome and occupational dystonia, brought on mostly by too much computer use. I am constant pain with limited ability to do things with my hands, especially in a repetitive fashion. I can still take care of myself but anything computer, tablet, or phone related is especially problematic. I cannot even begin to explain the ways this has negatively affected my career (which I had to give up) and personal life. I can only share some things I learned along the way. Exercise matters. Movement matters. Nutrition matters. I grew up thinking that exercise was a lifestyle choice. That movement beyond the basics was optional. Being slim I thought I didn't need to exercise or care about what I ate. That was for losing weight right? Or for people who are...

I first saw Heat in December of 1995. During the now-famous diner scene, Pacino’s character tells De Niro’s: “So you never wanted a regular-type life, huh?” To which the latter replies: “What the fuck is that? Barbecues and ball games?” I could relate. I was a plebe on winter leave from the United States Military Academy, a.k.a. West Point, sometimes colloquially known among disaffected cadets as the South Hudson Institute of Technology. (We like acronyms. You figure it out.) I’m a corporate brat; I’d lived in a parade of bland suburban homes in Chicago, Orlando, and Toronto. I wanted something else. Maybe war, maybe drama, maybe craziness. As a firstie, I was diagnosed with narcolepsy. This was 1999; the Army gave me my diploma and let me go. By 2000, I was in Columbia University’s journalism school. In the fall, we watched, incredulous, as Bush-vs.-Gore played out. In the spring, I ended up in a very small seminar, taught by Al Gore. Our first class with him was his first public appe...

In honor of a great man's birthday "We are just an advanced breed of monkeys on a minor planet of a very average star. But we can understand the Universe. That makes us something very special." - Stephen Hawking Carlos Espejo cape14[AT]gmail.com Bronx, NY

Hi! My name is Dan Shipton. I am a father to a wonderful 5 year old boy and the CEO of Change, a small startup based in Des Moines, Iowa. Thanks for reading my contribution to the Listserve project. For me, 2014 was a shitty, get your teeth knocked in over and over kind of year. I focused most of my attention on saving a marriage that ultimately wasn’t meant to be at the expense of everything else. Basically, my life has been in maintenance mode for longer than I’d like to admit. So when I received the “You’ve Won!” email I literally laughed out loud — are there any worthwhile words I possibly write to 25k strangers? I had resigned to not write anything, but was gently reminded how I got this far in life by a couple word magnets strung together on the side of a fridge at my office. Those words struck a chord with me today and I want to share them with you: “build to win big” Building is something I’ve always been good at. Deliberately making the life I wanted for myself (and family). L...

We're in El Dokki, Cairo at midnight. The fragrance of flowery shisha smoke from a nearby coffee shop punctuates the air. We drink beer and pass around a bottle of whiskey while we wait for Ahmed and Mido to arrive. Arriving at the stables in the desert, somewhat outside of the city itself, I can see the pyramids in the distance. Their shape blocking out the city lights in perfect triangle cut-outs. The stable master gestures for us to pick out our horses. I pass a few, most backing away from me, before arriving at a majestic looking white mare. We mount and head into the night. Only five minutes out, blackness surrounds us on all sides, save for the dunes and craggy rock glistening in the light of the full moon. We trot slowly for thirty minutes as we move over increasingly inclined terrain. I look back and see the view getting more and more vast behind me. I can see a fire in the distance, men who make camp fire tea for night riders. We dismount and order a tea each, sharp tasti...

I proposed to my wife just over two years ago, upon the transition between 2012 and 2013. We'll be celebrating our 1st year of marriage at the end of this month.Our vows did not include any promises connected to abstract ideas such as love or forever, nor to undetermined limits such as the end, or death. I promised her that I would push her every day to be better than she was the day before. She vowed to never stop communicating with me. (We reciprocated) I hope that the coming year brings all of you as much happiness as the last did me. With love, Ben Bot tarosic[AT]gmail.com Austin, TX

Hi! I'm a white, middle class software developer in London, totally unqualified to offer wisdom or life advice to anyone. Instead, I'll tell you about something that I've always found interesting: Certain product designs that endure. Sure, there are simple time-tested designs that will never die -- paper clips, mokka pots, zippers, Bic lighters. I'm intrigued by more complex examples, that develop their own ecosystems, that become icons despite humble roots. Here's a few I know of. I'm no expert, and have a word limit - apologies if I don't do them justice. -- Shure SM58: A basic-looking vocal microphone, in a field of fancy specialist devices, that has been in production for almost 50 years. Meant originally for studio recording I think, it's become a go-to workhorse for the live music industry too. Versatile, solid, trustworthy, and pretty cheap. If you've ever seen live music, chances are you've seen one. There's no magic special feature o...

I love being single. My friends find this puzzling. Most of my friends are in relationships, either with a spouse, significant other, pillow, or favorite cheese. I have almost always been single, unless you count that time when I was five years old and my Korean friend kissed me in the laundry closet. Honestly, I was at his birthday to eat as much kimchi as I could stand, but he clearly sought out a spicier dish. Now that I am of age, my friends are usually encouraging me to date online or in person, write Hugh Jackman, attend Meetups. Be anything but single. My friends decided to buy and set-up my online dating profile. They chose a site where I can propose an activity and then do that with the interested party. My friends insisted on writing my profile and since they paid, a contract followed. You will find one of those dates below. I write you from a dwindling state of tipsiness and a break from How About We. I pulled a temporary plug on the dating website because I wasn't havin...

Here's my obligatory sentence about being humbled and honored to write to this fine list of subscribers. May I add that I often thought this system was rigged? Many lottery winners seemed intimidatingly poignant and I assumed winners flaked out, forcing the creators to scramble to find excerpts from long-forgotten philosophy textbooks and angsty tumblrs. Anyway, I now have more faith in the list and am very real and very much from Southern Indiana. My name is Bradley and I want to share with you a sentiment I seem to repeat a lot in my personal and professional life. My father always enjoyed using analogies when explaining things to me. He always, like the good father he is, prodded me to do bigger and better things. One of my favorite analogies that I tend to share is about dating. When I was in high-school, I always wondered if the girl I was currently dating was "the one." I came to my father with this and he immediately asked me if I liked hotdogs. I of course respond...

We morph and we morph until we find the form that pleases most and paints a fair reflection. What I seek in love ain’t love alone; that is, it’s not enough to love, or to be loved in return, it is the striving to find a version of me that I’m willing to keep around. For every person I meet, for every situation I’m in, there seems to be another kind of “I”, filling the mould and adapting to this changeable environment. Nor is it a case of trying to work out WHO I am, because there just is NO ONE WAY in which I exist. A multitude of personas, ideologies, desires and aspirations, all of them webbing a complex weave of existence, amounting to the sum of all my parts and becoming “I”. Instead, it’s about experiencing most every side of this multichotomical state of being, and deciding which, if any, of these many masks is the most becoming. I am who I am in the presence of you, whoever YOU are or MAY BE when, in the presence of me, you’ve morphed and warped your skin to suit the colour of t...

So this is my first year living alone, far away from my parents. In that kind of moments I realise how big my country is - there is a 9722 kilometers distance between us, 8.5h flight, 7h time zones difference. I live in Saint-Petersburg - one of the most beautiful cities ever, my parents live in Vladivostok - also a wonderful and very unique place, close to asian borderland. I am 24 years old russian single girl with a passion to travellings and everything new. To be honest, I didnt have any reasons to move - I bet sometimes you just have feelings like you need to change something. Thats exactly what I had. And I never regret about random things and decisions. Random things - best things. (Btw, you can find some pictures of Russia in my insta - yuushh, I would love to see where do you live aswell!) Thats why lets talk about advertising stuff. Im pretty sure you all experienced that pop-ups things when you browse somewhere in internet for something important. Casino, binary options, dat...

Big, dead leaves. That's what you need to start a fire in the Amazon. Leaves bigger than my torso with stems more like branches. They littered the area we had chosen for camp. We had enough firewood to cook dinner on; headlights would have to suffice after that. Iquitos was more than half a day away. We were in the jungle. Let me make this clear. I love doing crazy shit, but I'm not careless. I truly believe things don't go wrong, just differently than originally planned. Going with the flow, assuming positive intent in people, and trusting the universe has given me some amazing experiences. But sometimes...shit's just crazy. So, anyway, we're in the Amazon at night, and decide it'd be fun to take out this canoe. At. Night. The water levels were pretty low, and the canoe a bit large for the three of us. Caimans surrounded us with their frog-like croaks. Night monkeys called out nearby. "Keep your flashlight low, or the bats will come too close for c...

Hey Listserve, I'm Mark Bao. I'd like to ask for some life advice. And tell you a story. 1. For most of my life, I've been trying to optimize things as much as possible. Optimize the things I'm working on. Make sure that I'm learning exactly the right things, to build the mental structures so I can be different than others. And above all -- make sure I'm working on something that I think will have the most impact on the world -- which right now I think is behavioral science. But lately, such a focus on optimization, and perfectionism, has gotten difficult -- in part because I realize that there's so much uncertainty and I can't predict things, and trying to make sure things work out while not knowing everything has been overwhelming. Has anyone else dealt with this? I'd love to chat with you. 2. I'm starting a group of people who are interested in psychology, thoughtful topics, life-long learning, and understanding things on a deeper level. If yo...

Hello! I am so very shocked and excited to be writing this Listserve email today, am honored to introduce myself to so many different people. My name is Zoe, and I am a 22 year old student from Texas. I also have no idea what to write about in this email. When asking around, my friends gave me some very scattered and varied advice, so I hope you all do not mind a very scattered and varied essay. I do not know what career I would like to have. I am currently torn between teaching inner city kids (research Teach for America - their mission statement is wonderful) or to become a social worker and help kids in the foster care system. Kids with issues are my passion, and I am very worried that I will not be a very good worker no matter what my profession is. I am currently a waitress, and I suppose the most interesting things that have happened to me while working is multiple people asking me for lap dances (I work at a steakhouse), I have been told that I look like "the suicide type...

"Sometimes things don’t go, after all, from bad to worse. Some years, muscadel faces down frost; green thrives; the crops don’t fail. Sometimes a man aims high, and all goes well. A people sometimes will step back from war, elect an honest man, decide they care enough, that they can’t leave some stranger poor. Some men become what they were born for. Sometimes our best intentions do not go amiss; sometimes we do as we meant to. The sun will sometimes melt a field of sorrow that seemed hard frozen; may it happen for you." by Sheenagn Pugh Wishing you a Happy New Year. Sarah sschwar3[AT]wellesley.edu Boston