Friday, May 22, 2015

A rock, a hard place and a Diamond ring

I have a secret. A secret marriage. A year ago my husband and I just popped down to the Chicago courthouse and said our “I Do’s.” But was that’s it, we didn’t share it with everyone else, I didn’t tell my coworkers or friends or family. We don’t pick out colors, menus or spend $60,000 on a wedding. We don’t wear rings, but at home he’s my husband. It’s our marriage. And it’s turned out quite nice. But it did not start that way.

See my boyfriend is an immigrate, which has left our lives limited in many ways. We were backed into a corner by the government, if we wanted to continue date we needed to get married or he would have to leave the country. So many people face situations like this in their lives. A shit or get off the pot moment. This was mine. We had been dating and living together and knew that marriage would be down the road but we did not feel ready to “be married.” So we filed our marriage license and deepened our commitment to each other.

It’s been a stressful year, dealing with the immigration processes and as an American citizen, it’s been an eye opening experience. The process is HARD, complicated and a lot of work! I’ve spent hundreds of hours of my life filling out paperwork and submitting forms, just to have them rejected and doing it all again. For anyone else that is going through this process, I would recommend hiring a lawyer. I was very anti-lawyer in the beginning. I wanted us to complete everything together because I felt it was really important for him to take an active role in his journey towards becoming a US citizen. We had a wonderful sense of pride and accomplishment finishing the paper ourselves. But with that being said it’s worth the money to have a knowledgeable legal professional there for you.

We took the leap. It was not perfect and it was never how I expected my life to be but they were the cards in fount of me. And I played my hand. Our relationship has only gotten better and I’m hopeful for our future. We fill our lives with love and supportiveness. And in our own time and on our own terms we are going to have that wedding with all of our friends and family there to cheer us on (the government will not be invited).

Write me if you have a secret you would like to share with me.

Thank you to my dear friend Watson for introducing me to Listserve, she’s a wonderful beautiful women who has manager to channel her strength in the last two years and take her own leaps of faith. I miss you. And congrats on the new house.

I love to read, if you have not checked out Goodreads, I would highly recommend it.

And you should add these books to your list.

-Apocalypticon by Clayton Smith – Local Chicago author

-The MaddAddam Series by Margaret Atwood

-The Never Born (Locus Origin Series) by my Icelandic friend Christian Matari.


Thanks!

Bex
Hollo1rs[AT]gmail.com
Chicago, IL

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