TheListServe Blog

I received the notification that I'd won the Listserve lottery less than half a day into my weeklong Maui vacation. Since I don't bring my laptop on vacations if I can help it, I'm writing this to you from my iPhone. I'll proof as well as I can, but please forgive any typos. Apparently, a 3 hour time difference is harder to overcome than I thought. My boyfriend and I went to bed at 7:30 last night because we're wusses and caved to the fact that we'd been up more than 18 hours. And now I'm awake at 5 am. Time differences are one of those things that freaks me out a little bit. It boggles the mind to understand that time is relative and has very little meaning outside of that which we assign to it. But our whole society is based on this arbitrary concept, and we constantly feel the pressure of it. I'm the sort of person who hates being late to things. In fact, I arrive stupidly early to most events (I often find myself walking around the block a few times ...

Hi there--hope you're doing well. Like everyone, you're trying the best you can to find peace and happiness, and you have a natural, inborn dignity and sanity that has nothing to do with the ups and downs you go through. So I love you, and very best wishes to you in your life. Relatedly, if you don't like yourself, that's really unnecessary and holding you back. Try to imagine yourself the way you were as a four-year-old child--that person just wanted to be happy, and the idea that he or she might not be enough or be worthy never came up. That sort of self-acceptance hasn't gone anywhere in you; it's just gotten clouded over by a lot of pain and complexity. You can definitely find it again, and you deserve it. Other than that, I wrote some things I wanted to share: # Questions # Recommendations # Plug -- # Questions These have been really important for me in my life. Obviously, I have my own strong opinions about them, but I think just asking them might be helpf...

I see a lot of people who share jokes. I like to laugh and want to be happy in this life. I would like to share something I came across in some random email that I read often and strive to live. Remember these five simple rules to be happy: 1) Free your heart from hatred. 2) Free your mind from worries. 3) Live simply. 4) Give more. 5) Expect less. In my life I also strive to live the Plan of Happiness, which would be my #6. I told my husband (who is also a Listserve subscriber) that if I won, I would share one of the biggest things that bring me happiness. 6) Living the gospel of Jesus Christ. I believe that I am a child of God. I have a Savior who is Jesus Christ. He knows me personally and better than I know myself. He knows my trials and struggles in life as well as all my joys and triumphs. He wants me to be happy. Most of all he loves me. I am grateful that he died for my sins so that I may one day return back to him. I know that families do not have to...

600 or fewer non-controversial, non-self-promoting words that 20,000 plus people will see in less than 48 hours. No pressure. I am passionate about learning. I think the mind is a muscle that requires exercise in order to be healthy and strong. My father lived to 88 and enjoyed nearly 30 years of retirement, largely, I feel, due to his insatiable curiosity and desire to learn new things. Four years ago as an adult I started playing the cello. It’s a surprisingly difficult instrument to learn to play well. And music is endlessly complex, with layer upon layer of nuance and meaning to ferret out and understand. I have what I call an “infinite list”. This is the ever growing list of things I wish to learn or experience. The content of the list is less important, I feel, that having it and having the desire and drive to keep tackling new topics and new experiences. Age is a state of mind and as long as your mind is young and supple I think you can be ageless — at least to some extent. What...

Please keep in mind that what makes you happy is very likely someone else's nightmare. Please be humble and respectful. Every day is a new chance, feel free to change. Patrick dasmenschlein[AT]gmail.com Germany

In 2005 I stepped into my first classroom as an official high school English teacher. Having survived the usual trials and tribulations of student teaching, non-invasive background checks, and a lengthy Los Angeles commute (is there any other kind?), I was thrilled to get to teach students in my classroom a la the tradition set for me by Hollywood. I was going to be the next Jaime Escalante or that lady from Freedom Writers. Of course that’s not really how things went down. My first day was, to say the least, challenging.  I was 22 and had 21 year old students. My first period class had 43 students and I had a few tarnished tables and chairs to seat maybe a dozen kids. There was a hole in my floor that went to who-knows-where. And–oh yeah–I couldn’t move half of my face.  A day before I started teaching I found out I had Bells Palsy. Basically, the right side of my face was paralyzed. I couldn’t blink (I was a really good winker), raise my eyebrows, or move that side of my mouth. My sp...

Firstly, thanks for all the great emails from everyone. My favorite email was from someone who was moving and wanted help finding a new place; for some reason it amused me. Few things about me are I live in Seattle but miss Portland, moved for family. I love ice cream which is not too suprising considering Seattle and Portland are both in the top five for the consumption of it. Going to be an aunt in April and can't wait to meet a nephew named after Game of Thrones; now I will have to watch the show. I often feel like nothing important or exciting happens that is worth mentioning but life really is about that perfect cup of coffee or a good moment and not all about the big things. My best friend Erin and I are making bitters for the first time. Giving it a go but anyone have a great recipe? Back to the ice cream. As I hate eggs, anyone have an eggless ice cream recipe they would reccomend? By baby brother introduced me to football and now I love it. A big reason I love the game i...

My colleague, Kuan, wants to put a hit on me. The fact that I joined Listserve less than 10 days ago and won the lottery, has gotten his sense of justice out of whack. He feels wronged - Kuan: sorry buddy, you'll have to find a way to get over it. I was not prepared for this. I have not gathered any life lessons here - I'm still putting together the list that I can hand over to my kids. I will recount however what I would consider the most exhilarating time in my life. Here goes. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I walked up to the gate agent and handed my passport. Could not contain my excitement - when the plane landed in Toronto, I would be entering my new home. I was migrating to Canada from India - a place I'd visited a couple of times but didn't really know much about. I was just turning 21,starting my Master's research at Concordia University in the fall - life was going to get a ...

Mechanical timepieces make me happy. I own a couple and even fiddle with some of the mechanisms. I have screwdrivers, tweezers, and a spring bar tool. It's a very rewarding hobby.The primary function of a timepiece is only to display the current time- hours, minutes, and sometimes seconds. Make it easy to use and simple to read. Anything extra is called a complication. For example, a date or a moon-phase indicator may be added to a watch. My favorite complication is the chronograph. Chronos=time, Graph=writer. King Louis XVIII liked horse racing and commissioned a gizmo to be made that could tell who won and by how much. The contraption that was built drew a line on rotating disks, the shortest line won. This evolved into today's chronograph. A writing on time. The primary function of a chronograph is to time of an event. Basically, it's a stopwatch- Seconds. Minutes. Hours. Start. Stop. Reset. It's a power-hungry add-on built for specific use-cases, like timing a race ...

I am privileged to work in a profession that allows me to collaborate with some of the most gifted minds on the planet. It might be an engineer who is able to design a system sensitive enough to analyze the surface chemical content of a star 3 billion light years from earth but not quite able to detect the yearning of his spouse for a loving gesture. Or it might be a CEO who has the stamina to relentlessly and passionately pursue company objectives but routinely misses opportunities to encourage, engage, develop and orchestrate the work of his subordinates. We all come to work every day with a unique assortment of problems and aspirations. Sometimes the problems get in the way of the aspirations. My job, as an EAP counselor, is to help move the problems to the side so the aspirations can flourish. In my work I try to make a difference in the ongoing drama of elation, disappointment, achievement, loss, bravery and stress that occurs at the intersection of work and personal life. I have ...

I haven't updated my music collection in a long time. I just moved to a new city so I've been a bit distracted. I am hoping you can help me... Send me one (or some) of your favorite musicians/bands, an album that I absolutely must listen to, or a song that you love. It can be anything from indie rock or classical to rap or folk. I want to hear what you are listening to around the country and world. You can also tweet me your music recs @jazzy3thousand. In return, I will email or tweet you something back. On a final note, check out these two music-related things: 1. Brandnewnoise: voice/music recording boxes that are super-cool and make great gifts. 2. Byrd McDaniel (@JohnnyByrdMcD): an up-and-coming popular music scholar; keep an eye out for his work if you're into that sort of thing. In the words of Rihanna (or was it Thom Yorke?), "Please don't stop the music, music, music" Jasmine Martin jleighmartin1[AT]gmail.com Providence, RI

As your thumb hovers about the "delete" button in your email, I ask you to read just a few more sentences of my email. I want to talk to you briefly about two things. First, the Chewonki Organization. (Chewonki? What does that even mean? Is that a word? Only one way to find out-- read on!) Second, systemic racism. Chances are, you haven't been taught about it. Not your fault, just statistics. So, what is Chewonki? The Chewonki organization is based in southern coastal Maine and has numerous programs to connect people with their place in the natural world. I attended the Chewonki Semester school, meaning I spent 4 months of my junior year living and studying with around 50 students and faculty in Wiscasset, ME. That semester was undoubtedly the most influential time of my life. The close-knit community taught me so much about my place in the world, hard work, my relationship with nature, and who I was. Chewonki has become an integral part of my soul. Students live in cabin...

In 2005 I stepped into my first classroom as an official high school English teacher. Having survived the usual trials and tribulations of student teaching, non-invasive background checks, and a lengthy Los Angeles commute (is there any other kind?), I was thrilled to get to teach students in my classroom a la the tradition set for me by Hollywood. I was going to be the next Jaime Escalante or that lady from Freedom Writers. Of course that’s not really how things went down. My first day was, to say the least, challenging. I was 22 and had 21 year old students. My first period class had 43 students and I had a few tarnished tables and chairs to seat maybe a dozen kids. There was a hole in my floor that went to who-knows-where. And–oh yeah–I couldn’t move half of my face. A day before I started teaching I found out I had Bells Palsy. Basically, the right side of my face was paralyzed. I couldn’t blink (I was a really good winker), raise my eyebrows, or move that side of my mouth. My spe...

What's up and welcome, As every Listserve member out there has, I've toyed with what would I write, well the time has come and now I'm undeniably overwhelmed. I think I always knew I wanted to put some piece of advice, not necessarily assuming everyone would follow, but in the sense that this piece of advice was most helpful to me and it's my email, so let's do it. But, before I get all "self help book" on you, I'll give you a little background. I'm in my final year of college, and like everyone on this earth, I'm incredibly busy. Rather than listing my achievements, and having you gauge just how busy I am, just know that if there was a way to never sleep thus providing endless time, I'd be the first person to sign up. Biggest fear right now? I will graduate unemployed. I'm terrified of not having a job. Now that I made myself relatable, let's get all advice-y. In no way am I attempting to convince you of what you should or ...

Not your everyday subject line, I know, but it caught your attention didn't it? I'm not going to write another lengthy meaning-of-life e-mail (ain't nobody got time for that). Instead, I'll share some little unrelated things that I enjoy and make up most of my life. If you really don't have 5 minutes to spare, I included a "too long; didn't read" at the bottom (but come on, make an effort ;). (I'm a 27y old web developer from Belgium.) Time-travel! Oh how I love this stuff. Be it the concept of traveling back and forward in time, discussing the grandfather paradox or simply devouring the internet in search of good books and original ideas. These things can keep me quite busy! Once in a while I jot down a concept or interesting point of view that pops into my head. Maybe I should write a novel about it someday, we'll see. All in due... time. Boardgames! If you're someone who enjoys boardgames and would like early access to a new website I...

Hey the listserve,I'm a semi-recent college grad (2012) who was able to launch his career in this economic slump and dead-end job market very soon after, evading underemployment. I am NOT an expert, but I'd love to share some tips with my millennial brethren in need (although I suspect that the demographic of the listserve includes very bright people who may not need them). However, if any good comes of this, that is my goal. Brand Yourself: 1) Have a great social media presence. Needless to say, all of your social profiles should be clean and professional. Social networks like Twitter enable communication with high-up industry people that may not otherwise be accessible. Use this as an opportunity to network. I have met many people in real life from Twitter relationships. In fact, my second (current) job was offered to me because of my participation in a "Twitter chat" and the resulting relationships. Do not be afraid to contact people on LinkedIn. It is expected. Co...

ANTIMETABOLE noun 1. In rhetoric, the repetition of words in successive clauses, but in transposed order. (from Wikipedia) Examples: "[A]sk not what your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your country." ~JFK For single women in tech, the odds are good, but the goods are odd. I know what I like, and I like what I know. "In America you can always find party. In Soviet Russia, Party always find you!" ~Yakov Smirnoff "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy!" Now some riddles: Q: What's the difference between a jeweler and a jailer? A: A jeweler sells watches; a jailer watches cells. Q: What's the difference between an epileptic oyster sheller and a nymphomaniac with the runs? Email me for the answer to this one, or if you think you've figured it out. I warn you, it's pretty rude. Book recommendations! If you want to discuss any of these please reach out to me! If you...

If you are anything like me you will probably delete this email after the first sentence or two. I really do judge your listserve submissions on their headlining first sentence. If you preach at me then DELETE. If you try and tell me something life-affirming then DELETE. I am not being mean spirited I just think most of us don't know what to say when we win this lottery and so we try to be all noble and knowing. Usually it just doesn't work and I quickly become disinterested. I am also way beyond the demographic of the listserve. You all appear to be early 20's with blogs and stuff. I am in my 40's and wouldn't know what a blog is. I also seem to get a lot of emails from Americans. I find Americans to be ever so slightly gullible. Just saying. Great teeth though. Anyway, he is my stab at a decent listserve: I work for the emergency services in the UK and so I thought I would share a few 'inappropriate 999' calls with you all: 'my online shopping has not ...

How would you know if you were dysfunctional - that you had a toxic self image, an inability to have meaningful relationships with others, an obsessive need for control, or some other emotional debility? If you were in denial about your dysfunction, how would you know it? If you identify with much of the following, called the Laundry List - 14 Traits of an Adult Child of an Alcoholic, then you may have learned dysfunctional coping strategies as a child that you carried with you into adult life. These coping mechanisms are the laundry list traits below. Note that alcoholism is only one of many possible "family diseases" that can create abuse and neglect. Other addictions, mental illness, sexual abuse, extreme religiosity, etc., can also produce adults that identify with the Laundry List. The Laundry List We became isolated and afraid of people and authority figures. We became approval seekers and lost our identity in the process. We are frightened of angry people and any...

Forget the subject line as it was simply an attention grabber. I'm a 22 year old Caucasian male with a business degree who is currently seeking employment. *Whoopdee-doo but what does it all mean Basil?* I was raised to believe: go to school, get good grades, go to a good college, and get a good job. I have tried exceptionally hard and succeeded in my life so far except for landing the 'good' job. Hell any job for that matter. If i was born 4-6 years earlier I believe I would have that good job. So, what happened? Well a lot of things. Politics aside, what is the number one thing, in my mind, which has stopped me from getting a job but which I also want a job working with? The Internet. (Email me about this if you want to discuss this) This is not a sob story as there are way worse things in life. Just a short story from someone, maybe just like you or someone you know, and I am not going to give up without a fight. Us as humans have never stopped and we won't until t...

My name is Scott Helvick, and I want to destroy the world. ... and rebuild it. Forgive the hyperbole. You see, I've found that people are more likely to pay attention when you shock them a bit. I can't tell you how many times I've had this conversation: Me: "I want to change the world." Random Acquaintance: "Oh, that's great! I work with this organization that supports rights for the oppressed people of Fuckedupistan. We're having a rally on Saturday -- you should come!" Me: "Oof, sounds great, but unfortunately, that's the same day as my rally to support rights for the oppressed people of Evenmorefuckedupistan." RA: "Oh... well, that's okay. You can just sign this petition and we'll put you on our mailing list!" Me: "Sure, but you have to promise not to actually send me any mail. I get 78,426 messages a day, and I can't miss out on those penis enlargement opportunities." Yeah, yeah, I know. Hyperbole...

I am 24 years old and live in New York. I am interested in Medieval Hebrew manuscripts and early printed Hebrew books, which is a bit of an obscure interest. (It's really fascinating stuff though! Check it out.) I am trying to figure out my next professional move and have thus been meeting with as many people as possible to get various perspectives. One specific conversation I had was particularly refreshing, so I wanted to share that with you. I was speaking to a PhD student, who told me his particular perspective and then concluded with the following: "You have to talk to everyone, and then talk to no one, and think about what you really want, and trust in God that it will all work out." This sentence struck me for a few reasons. First, I often have trouble making decisions, so it was probably a good thing for me to hear that while other people's advice is important, it ultimately comes down to me. Second, I think it is sometimes important to realize that as much as...

As I write this email, there is a battle waging in Texas that has far reaching implications. The State Board of Education is deciding how to deal with evolution in their science text books. Why do you care, especially if you don't live in Texas? Well, Texas is a big market for text books. A text book that can't be sold in Texas is not going to make money, so publishers write books that comply with Texas' guidelines, and then sell those textbooks nationwide. What are they trying to decide? If evolution should be challenged in text books. I am all for rigorous scientific study. I am an engineer and I graduated from one of the top science institutes in the US. I am all for teaching students critical thought, we do not do enough of that. But Texas is trying to hold up creationism (or intelligent design) as a viable alternative to evolution. In the context of a science class, this is laughable. If you want to discuss intelligent design, it should be discussed up as an...

Exactly two weeks passed between when I signed up for The Listserv and when I won the lottery. I know, right? So a) thanks to my friend Matty for recommending, and b) my apologies to long timers, especially those hoping you'll win because you have a perfect thing to share. I look forward to reading your perfect thing. But for now you get to read my imperfect thing, because I'm the lucky one. I'm not being flippant. I really am the lucky one, always have been. Ask my family or close friends. I have an undeniable thing where I have preposterously good luck. This isn't new age-y bullshit. I'm a man of science and empirical data...this is fact. I take no credit for it and I wish I could harness it (for use in, say, a lottery that awarded cash). But I can't. But it's definitely a thing. So I choose to share the thing that makes me the luckiest. The thing that makes me the luckiest is my parents. Clarification: I'm not holding them up as perfect ...

Look up at the sky and find a cloud. Reply back with whatever you saw in that cloud. And to the 67 Listserve subscribers who have a birthday today: Happy birthday. My present to you is a short email. Dylan Mason dylan.mason[AT]me.com Calgary, Canada

A random selection:Never despise a drink because it is easy to make and/or uses commercial mixes. Unquestioning devotion to authenticity is, in any department of life, a mark of the naïve—or worse. the great difficulty in education is to get experience out of ideas Where men build on false grounds, the more they build, the greater is the ruin What is the opposite of faith? Not disbelief. Too final, certain, closed. Itself a kind of belief. Doubt. Names in common use quickly become mere sounds, their etymology being buried, like so many of the earth’s marvels, beneath the dust of habit. In our age it is not sex that raises its ugly head, but love The best composition and temperature, is to have openness in fame and opinion; secrecy in habit; dissimulation in seasonable use; and a power to feign, if there be no remedy. People believe that imperialism explains European riches. Or that markets and greed arrived recently. Or that "capitalism" required a new class or a new self-con...

Today I hope you breathe a little deeper. You stand a little taller and laugh a little louder; you smile at a stranger and hug a little tighter. I hope you hear your favorite song, your bread rises perfectly, and just-the-right words appear on your tongue. I hope a crisp breeze cools your brow this noon and a snug blanket warms you tonight. I pray that love envelops your life and you find the strength to discover yourself. No matter how high the mountain or how deep the ravine, I am in your corner and on your team. I am here and I care. We exist as a world together to defend, not defeat. And most importantly, to love one another. P.S. A special thank you to my dear friends and family, without whom this life would be quite dull: MF, HF, DF, LF, KB, ZH, CEBH, LP, JL, HT, DK, AP, RP, AC, LP, EL, ND, MS, LM, ZP, SP, FA and so many more. "Give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way." --Native American Saying A. Fern wherethewildferngoes[AT]gmail.com Denver, C...

I admire a person who is passionate about something. Whether it is their work, hobby, craft, or other subject of expertise. I am constantly teaching myself new things, and I feel like I don't have one passion that I can really say defines who I am. I'm afraid in the end, I'll be decent or good at many things, but not amazing at any one thing. I love the learning process, and I wish I could get to the point where I could "wow" someone with what I can do. I'm a 25 year old mechanical engineer by trade, but outside of work, I'm a singer, songwriter, musician, producer, programmer, designer, gamer, adventurer. When I was younger I always wished I had a pen pal that lived on the other side of the world. I've always wanted to get to know other people who live differently and with an open mind, coming from all different kinds of backgrounds and have all sorts of interests. I'd love to hear about what you do, your passions, how you live, whether or n...

I love Legos. Always have, always will. Back when I was younger, I could build anything with Legos. If I could dream it up, the parts I needed were somewhere in that never-ending bin of childhood glee. Despite being nothing more than a few pennies of plastic, these magic bricks synergistically assembled into futuristic spaceships, mechanized armies, towering skyscrapers and much more. Sadly, I grew older. Reality began to encroach on my well-laid plans for conquest of the universe. My insatiable desire to create never left, and I turned to programming. In fact, these new constraints added to the challenge, and I enjoyed creating all the more for it. The best part this time was that it was so wonderfully real - I could run my program, watch all the parts come together and do something. The funny thing about all of this is that the desire to build, while strong, was not the root of my creative drive. The ideas are what truly propel me. I've always had crazy ideas. Some are ...

life is a bit hectic right now, but here is my grandma's apple pie recipe. It is the only apple pie that I will eat. She is the kind of person who would, for the dough, say "mix it and then add water or flour until it feels right," so it was tricky turning that into a recipe, but these are the instructions that i follow when making it. (i usually make a double batch) Good luck :) For one "medium" sized apple pie. -1 cup shortening -2 chips flour -5 jhonnagold apples (other cooking apples will work but jhonnagold is my preferred apple) -sugar and cinnamon -a dribble of milk or half and half Preheat oven to 350. Crust: -Mix 1 cup shortening, 2 cups flour, 1/2 cup cold water, put in fridge -getting a perfect consistency takes some practice, but it isn't as absolutely vital as some would make it sound. it should have a very slight shine to it, but not be very sticky. Add more flour if it is sticky, more water if it's not shiny. Apples: -skin and slice/chop u...

To start, here’s a joke: A ricecake and a crab are on a beach. A person says “What a cute rice cake! What an ugly crab!” The crab says nothing. A second person says “What a cute rice cake! What an ugly crab!” The crab is upset. He swears he will throw the rice cake in the ocean if another person says that. A third person says “What a cute crab! What an ugly rice cake!” The crab throws the rice cake into the ocean. Anyway, when I was nine, I entered and won an essay contest that changed my life forever. The prize was a pony - a real, breathing, 7-month-old pony. I could write a novel about training him, learning to ride, and the ups and downs that we faced, but that wouldn’t adequately describe just how much winning this pony changed me (in many ways unrelated to horses). Instead, here are a few brief snapshots of my most memorable times with Sugar (my pony): - He had a yoga ball that he loved to play with in the arena. He would push it around with his nose and chase after it in endless...